Friday, August 26, 2011

For Fuck's Sake Friday: Wasting time.

I went out for drinks with a friend from work. Let's call her Vino. Vino is awesome, she is smart, cute, funny, opinionated, capable of having a prolonged intelligent conversation about just about anything, and... she has a boyfriend. If you guessed the boyfriend isn't me, you have guessed correctly.

While we were out for drinks she told me that she has come to the realization that her boyfriend is an idiot. I don't like to pry into people's personal lives so I pretty much just left it at that. However, she continued and said that she is pretty sure that she is going to move out (she lives with him) when her lease is up. She didn't come right out and say that she is planning on breaking up with him, but she might as well have.

I again, didn't press for details.

This is where the theme for today's post comes from; for fuck's sake, quit wasting time. Why would you continue to be with someone that you already know isn't going to work out in the long run?

I'm not saying that I would be a better candidate for her to be with, I really don't know if we would work or not. I haven't given it a whole lot of thought. Just a little.

This isn't the only time that this has happened when it comes to friends of mine staying in a shitty situation.

I have a guy friend that is still Mormon, one of few. He got married relatively fast, even by Mormon standards. They met and six months later they were married and bound together for all eternity. Roughly three years later, he can't stand her. Divorce, in the Mormon church is frowned upon. When I mean frowned upon I mean a leper covered in shit caked infected sores would have a better chance making friends with people in the church than he would after a divorce. It is almost always social suicide for a Mormon to get a divorce. Think about breaking a promise to your supposed deity that you are going to be bound body and soul to this person for all eternity and then a couple years later go "Sorry God, oops I fudged up, your divinely sanctioned marriage isn't going to work. Can I y'know just get a redo?" Needless to say I still think that he should leave the psycho bitch before he ends up like my father.

When you're in a shitty situation long enough, eventually you learn to deal with the smell and take comfort in the texture and familiarity. Every once in a while you'll get surprised by something nice, like a piece of undigested sweet corn. This will now be what you look forward to. This is what your relationship will progress to if you choose to stay in a relationship that you know isn't going to work.

I understand couple's therapy can help but let's not kid ourselves. It's the Fe-breeze in the shitty situation. If you've ever used Fe-breeze it says it fixes the problem but from my experience it just covers up the smell for a while, making you forget that you are still completely and utterly surrounded by shit.

I see it all too many times where people put themselves into a relationship that isn't going to work strictly because they A) don't want to be alone, B) don't want to hurt someone else's feelings, or C) are too cowardly to actually change something in their life.

For those of you that are in a Relationshit and are miserable. I don't care. I'm single and relatively content. You have made a choice to be in that relationship. Stop complaining about it and fix it or fuck off.

So I'll say it again, For Fuck's Sake, quit wasting time being miserable in a shitty situation and move on. You never know you might actually find something good.

Later Days,

PS. I could be just a bitter, single, asshole that doesn't get it but I doubt it.


  1. So true! Nothing more annoying when someone complains incessantly about how bad their relationship is and yet refuses to take any action at all to fix it or leave it. Get over yourself already. Make the change or shut up. I'm so with you on this one.

  2. God I agree!! I would rather be single and on my own then in an unhappy, crap relationship anyday! People seem to think they will die if they are single! People's feelings get hurt all the time, it is life and we all get over it and move on. I have been single years now and I could of got in a relationship just for the sake of it but I would rather be in love...funny enough!

  3. "Every once in a while you'll get surprised by something nice, like a piece of undigested sweet corn."

    hahahahahahaha! fucking right.

    and i like random strangers.... (403) 620-8961

  4. Heheheehe.....Marriage counseling is the Febreeze in a shitty situation. I love it. And Febreeze sucks.

  5. I agree! I am single, by choice, and I listen to my friend's complain about their relationships. I have friends who are in such bad situations, yet they are afraid to be single, so they stay in the relationships. It gets to the point where when we hang out, all they do is complain. It drives me crazy!

  6. I couldn't agree more! Well said! Cut the shit and get on with life!

  7. Taking the mormon spin and casting it aside (I know, *gasp*) I love this post. I was married to someone for 7 years who I never should have married in the first place. I did it out of convenience, and in the hopes she'd change. It was a doomed relationship after 6 months, but I kept allowing things to build and build.

    Vino needs to do, not think. Just do. And if that means do YOU, so be it.

  8. I've never understood the "on-again/ off-again" thing. If I get to the point of breaking up with someone, that's it. People are dumb. And that's their right. But they need to stop complaining about it. She's lucky you didn't smack her on the back of the head and tell her you're her relationship V8 commercial. ~Natasha

  9. Whiny teenagers should read this. Seriously. Because unless they are planning to get married before college and thus miss out on the opportunities for one night stands, the possibility that high school relationships leave you psychologically un-scarred is, basically, NIL.

    I'm single and relatively content too. Thank you, right hands.

  10. But I'm comfortable being miserable. What if I just lower my expectations? Oh that's right because people in shitty relationships are horrible to hang out with. Great advice.

  11. Couldn't agree with you more Hero. Although it took me years to get up the strength & courage I needed to leave my farce of a marriage, I have no regrets. We are both way happier now, and my children are better off seeing us happy and apart rather than together and miserable.

    Great post Hero :)


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