I went out for drinks with a friend from work. Let's call her Vino. Vino is awesome, she is smart, cute, funny, opinionated, capable of having a prolonged intelligent conversation about just about anything, and... she has a boyfriend. If you guessed the boyfriend isn't me, you have guessed correctly.
While we were out for drinks she told me that she has come to the realization that her boyfriend is an idiot. I don't like to pry into people's personal lives so I pretty much just left it at that. However, she continued and said that she is pretty sure that she is going to move out (she lives with him) when her lease is up. She didn't come right out and say that she is planning on breaking up with him, but she might as well have.
I again, didn't press for details.
This is where the theme for today's post comes from; for fuck's sake, quit wasting time. Why would you continue to be with someone that you already know isn't going to work out in the long run?
I'm not saying that I would be a better candidate for her to be with, I really don't know if we would work or not. I haven't given it a whole lot of thought. Just a little.
This isn't the only time that this has happened when it comes to friends of mine staying in a shitty situation.
I have a guy friend that is still Mormon, one of few. He got married relatively fast, even by Mormon standards. They met and six months later they were married and bound together for all eternity. Roughly three years later, he can't stand her. Divorce, in the Mormon church is frowned upon. When I mean frowned upon I mean a leper covered in shit caked infected sores would have a better chance making friends with people in the church than he would after a divorce. It is almost always social suicide for a Mormon to get a divorce. Think about breaking a promise to your supposed deity that you are going to be bound body and soul to this person for all eternity and then a couple years later go "Sorry God, oops I fudged up, your divinely sanctioned marriage isn't going to work. Can I y'know just get a redo?" Needless to say I still think that he should leave the psycho bitch before he ends up like my father.
When you're in a shitty situation long enough, eventually you learn to deal with the smell and take comfort in the texture and familiarity. Every once in a while you'll get surprised by something nice, like a piece of undigested sweet corn. This will now be what you look forward to. This is what your relationship will progress to if you choose to stay in a relationship that you know isn't going to work.
I understand couple's therapy can help but let's not kid ourselves. It's the Fe-breeze in the shitty situation. If you've ever used Fe-breeze it says it fixes the problem but from my experience it just covers up the smell for a while, making you forget that you are still completely and utterly surrounded by shit.
I see it all too many times where people put themselves into a relationship that isn't going to work strictly because they A) don't want to be alone, B) don't want to hurt someone else's feelings, or C) are too cowardly to actually change something in their life.
For those of you that are in a Relationshit and are miserable. I don't care. I'm single and relatively content. You have made a choice to be in that relationship. Stop complaining about it and fix it or fuck off.
So I'll say it again, For Fuck's Sake, quit wasting time being miserable in a shitty situation and move on. You never know you might actually find something good.
PS. I could be just a bitter, single, asshole that doesn't get it but I doubt it.