Wednesday, July 11, 2012

What the Fuck Wednesday: Busy.

Let me premise this by saying that busy doesn't do my weekend justice.

I took Friday off of work to hang out with a Girl, we'll call her Shorty cause she is really tiny. The plan was go to one of the many stampede breakfasts that go on here then watch the parade then spend the rest of the day together just chillen, drinking and generally having a good time.

Well, because I happen to live downtown and the parade is downtown getting to my house was a bit of a challenge for Shorty. An hour after she said she was going to be there she showed up. She did keep me posted as she was driving so I knew what was happening. We ended up missing the breakfasts and were kind of rushed to find a spot to watch the parade.

The parade: what a bunch of wasted time wrapped up in a sardine can type of uncooked bacon covered ball of goose shit. I'm not even holding the parade to to that high of a standard. (my home town of 3800 people had a better parade) The floats all 5 of them were nothing special. The marching bands were laughable, they all played the same arrangement and I'm 99% sure that wasn't on purpose either. The rest was repetitive. horse drawn carriage followed by people on horses. The only thing in the parade that was even remotely worth it was the armed forces part of it. Canadians don't get to see our armed forces that much so it was cool to see the tanks and such driving by.

The rest of the day was nothing that special. We drank some beer and had some food over the course I figured out that I couldn't ever be more than friends with her. That evening we went out dancing and met up with Vegas and Token. All fine and dandy, however this city doesn't have anywhere near enough Cabs so we ended up walking back to my place where her car was; 20 blocks or so.

Queue up the random strange black guy with a thick foreign accent. He was walking the other direction about a block from the gas station by my house, this is important. He sees shorty and immediately turns and starts talking to her and then starts walking with us. This doesn't inherently bother me but I take up a nice position right behind them as they walk and chat. He "only" groped at her once. He walked with us all the way to my house another 5 blocks. I think shorty is going to crash at my place, sleep on my couch or whatever. Nope, instead she is going to drive home. That's fine she hadn't been drinking since like 7 and it was currently 330 am. Next thing I know strange random guy gets in the car with her and is apparently getting a ride to the gas station. Remember the one he was only a block away from when he joined us. WHAT THE FUCK!!! She just says call me in 5 minutes. Yea cause you know, your annoying ringtone is going to stop him from doing whatever he wants to do to you. I'm not impressed with this situation at all. I get into my car, drunk. I know, not OK. I am not OK with drunk driving but in this case of protecting a girl from what I'm sure is not going to be a pleasant experience I stand by my choice. I pull in behind her at the gas station and he isn't getting out of her car. I phone her.

"Hey, What's going on?" I ask.
"Oh just sitting at the gas station."
"I know, I'm right being you."
"Oh, so you are."

Instantly, he gets out of the car, glares straight at me. She drives off and I go back home. Where I phone her again and proceed to ask her if she is suicidal or just stupid.

"Do not ever, ever, fucking ever, let a random stranger into your car at 3 am. Never mind in my neighborhood where I know I have at least one business that is a front for a Lebanese gang."
"Oh I didn't know."
"Didn't know what? That you're a tiny attractive woman that just put yourself in a very compromising position with a stranger?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just a trusting person."
"Fuck, Shorty, You lived here for two weeks before your car was stolen, in broad daylight. Why the fuck would you decide that a random stranger at 3 am is trust worthy?"
"OK you're right, I'm sorry."
"Good because you scared the shit out of me."

Needless to say this put me up way past when I should have been in bed to be able to get up and give Vegas a ride to work. My bad.

Saturday. I know Vegas is pissed at me before I even call him to apologize.

I'm supposed to spend the day with the girl I went camping with. We were going to the Stampede, which was fun but I think I'll just do a post about stampede all by itself. Instead I'm going to talk about what happened with her.

We were socializing in the beer gardens spending 7 dollars for a can of Budweiser and everything is going well. I just sat down with a table of people that as it turns out had graduated from high school with my cousin. Up walks girl.

Now I suppose some back story is going to help out with this part. The weekend we were camping wasn't the first time we slept together. In fact I've blogged about her before. A long time ago here and here and mentioned here, herehere here.

Our Friendship started years ago and progressed to whatever it was before Saturday night. I had already talked to her about the drunken mistake we had participated in the weekend before and had made it clear that we were not dating, nor would I date her.

However Saturday night was something else all together. We went to the beer gardens at the stampede. I was having a riot. It was fantastic. Other than the ridiculously expensive beer but regardless of that I was meeting people and generally being social. I had left J with some friends and went wondering to meet people. I had joined this table of people and found out that 3 of them had actually graduated from high school with my cousin. I was just starting to talk to the cute girl at the table when J cam up and asked to speak with me. I thought maybe something had happened. Someone had told her off, yelled at her, or something. NOPE!.

"You abandoned me!"
"You just left me all alone."
"J, you're in the middle of a beer garden surrounded by people."
"Yea but you left me."
"No I didn't I was sitting right there"
"You are supposed to be with me."
"like by your side?"
"well no."
"then what?"
"I don't want you to leave me."
"I'm not allowed to be social?"
"well yea..."

It evolved into her not being independent enough to meet new people by herself and eventually reading the core issue of not wanting me to meet a girl. It caused a massive scene, where she cried and screamed, in the beer gardens. She even used the line "you should know what is wrong". Nothing pisses me off faster than the expectation of super powers. I'm not a fucking mind reader.

When we left shortly after and went back to my place she couldn't figure out why I made her sleep on the couch.


Later days

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Something actually happened.

I have been a terrible blogger as of the last three months but things are looking up. I've been busy with work but with summer here I'll be up to some shenanigans.

For instance I went camping this last weekend. Camping is awesome. I love it.

First off the drive out to the site was about four and a half hours. Some where around the two hour mark we get passed by a truck. Now this wouldn't normally be anything special but they mooned us as they did it. Not to be out done I sped up and passed them and token gave them the goat. So of course they passed me again double moon and vegas mooned back. So much ass. However we figured out that the truck was filled with girls at rhus point. Fast forward an hour we pull into a gas station and low and behold there they are. I smile at them. "hey, nice bums."

"you saw that did you?"


They proceeded to turn a bright shade of pink. Good times.

The rest of the drive was nothing fantastic. We arrive set up and proceed to drink heavily.

The weekend, we polished off around 90 beer and a 40 of jack daniels. There was 4 of us and one of them was a girl, aka a drinking lightweight. So yea...

The lake was less than warm but swimming was done anyway.

Now I mentioned earlier that one of the happy campers was a girl. From what I remember of Saturday some bad decisions were made on my part. She had/has a boyfriend. I'm not sure how it happened but I ended up balls deep. I remember faking an orgasm to finish it just so I could sleep.

The rest of the weekend passed without incident. Vegas made a wizard stick. As well as the beer basted roast we had, so good.
We had a very drunk pee bonding moment too I'll share. 

Over all good weekend.
Later days

view from site
Side ways pic I can't rotate... blerg. Wizard stick.
another rotated image blerg also spit roast.