Monday, April 23, 2012

My weekend Monday: Climbing.

This last weekend was filled with fun. Loads of it.

First off, Friday night Token and I went out and met up with the artist to dance the night away. Generally a good time, but the artist got too drunk and passed out on her couch and I ended up carrying her to her bed and passing out next to her.

Waking up Saturday morning sucked. I didn't sleep well and that was because I slept on a mac computer. I also have this thing where I'm always hot. Summer time is not exaclty a pleasant experience for me unless there is a cold beverage in my hand or I have a pool of water I can jump into. Friday evening I also made the mistake of drinking a decent large amount of bourbon. It was good, don't judge me. However, because of this I generated even more heat. It was not a good sleep.

Saturday I had made plans to do a picnic in the park with CLR. It was nice we had a decent time. I just don't know if there is a whole lot of chemistry there. I find myself hanging out with her when there is nothing else to do. Which makes me think that this isn't exactly headed for the happily ever after column. On top of the lack of chemistry she is younger and hasn't really figured out her life yet. Meh we'll see where it goes so far it is still a whole lot of fun.

I ended up spending Saturday night at the artist's place though. I think I could actually see myself with her if it wasn't for some fundamental issues. We have nothing in common except for partying, which I'm not planning on doing a whole lot of this summer. I'm going to be active and out of the city doing what I love to do. Hike and rock climb.

That is what I did Sunday it was awesome. I burnt my face though, you might be able to see it in the pictures.

Vegas learning to lead climb.

Vegas up close.
Me climbing up the cliff.

Vegas up top.

My view from the top.

Me anchored to the cliff face ready to rappel.

Me setting up an anchor.

I had a lot of fun climbing, the sad thing was none of the women I'm currently dating wanted to even come with me. Le sigh. I'll ride it out till they go their natural course, who knows maybe I'll be surprised.

Later Days,

Thursday, April 19, 2012

When it rains it pours.

Hello my loyal followers, I say loyal because lets be honest the none loyal ones gave up on me writting anything interesting a while ago. Well I have a surprise for you.

I got laid. It wasn't by an ex girlfriend either, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, inhale deep.

I suppose I should start at the beginning.

Except I already started at the beginning in this post. Fools weekend. Yea that's right. That wasn't the end of it like I thought it would be. The Monday after Easter I went over to Token's place to have some left over turkey sandwiches. they were fantastic. Then Token and I went out to a pub and had some hot wings and a jug of beer. It was supposed to be an early evening so after that I went home and immediately took my pants off.

As I was taking my pants off my phone chirped that it had a text message.

Vegas: Hey those girls from last weekend want us to come out and have a couple beers with them. You in?

Me: I don't know, I just took my pants off.

Vegas: Well put them back on.

Me: I don't know, give me a couple minutes to think about it.

Needless to say I ended up putting on pants and was sitting in the pub 10 minutes later. It was a little awkward because the girls had invited some other guys out as well. The one Vegas had slept with was still most definitely into him but the one that had bailed on me the week before was apparently getting set up with the other guy.

I did what I do best. Not give a fuck. I had fun chatting and making jokes. The usual NtH.

It got to be 1 am and I had to work in the morning so I said I was done for the evening and would be bailing. Well the cute little red head didn't want it to end this way so she walked me out and I got a kiss and a bit of chat. Explaining why she bailed the weekend before and such.

Turns out that she has only had sex with 3 guys before and all of them were boyfriends at the time. I told her she was dumb and that I would have been fine with making out and cuddling. I know most women thing all men want is sex. I'm not going to deny that, however that being said, most men will settle for a make out session and some dry humping... basically we'll be happy with whatever we can get.

She kissed me good bye and I went home where I immediately took my pants back off.

Just as my pants hit the floor "chirp chirp"

Her: Hey you wanna cuddle?

Me: Now?

Her: Yea

Me: I'll have to put pants on to come get you.

Her: Hold on.

Me: I'm willing to do this but you should know that I'll have put my pants back on twice for you. This is kinda a big deal.

Her: Whats your address?

5 minutes later she was sitting on my bed and it was now closer to 2 am than I was comfortable with.

Her: I'm not having sex with you tonight.

Me: Honestly, if you wanted to I'd probably turn you down. I'm going to sleep so that I can function at work tomorrow.

Looking back now I think that statement means I have morphed into a responsible adult. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. Wait, I remember getting hammered and being dosed with coconut (which I have a really weird allergic reaction to) and then the rest of the evening when I wasn't in excruciating pain I was tripping balls and having the time of my life and with that memory I know I am neither responsible nor an adult.

Skip ahead a few days to the weekend again. Went snowboarding, which I'm sure you're sick of hearing about so but I don't care. It was with my ex girlfriend. "This one" we had a nice chat and road some awesome spring snow conditions but overall was a relatively mellow day.

That evening however was entertaining to say the least. Went out dancing again, almost got in a fight but because I know the bouncers I was able to just have the douche canoes removed. Then I met a girl. I was pretty sure the girl liked me because, now I'm not rocket scientist remember, she kept grabbing my ass and humping my leg. Then she started kissing me and just as the night was ending turns to me and says. "You can come home with me I've decided.

Now we get back to her place and we start making out and the clothes start coming off. I don't take my pants off right of way because I was going commando that night. So I'm laying on top of her making out like high-school kids with their parents out of town, when she reaches down undoes my pants grabs me, pulls her panties aside and puts me right on in. "Are you fucking kidding me?" was the response I gave. I don't think it was what she was used to. No foreplay, nothing, just kiss kiss boom.

I rocked her world a couple times and then she says, "You should hurry up." Ladies there is something you should know about this sentence when applied to sex. DON'T FUCKING USE IT. The moment that I know you're not having fun. I'm not having fun. If I'm not having fun then IT'S FUCKING OVER.

Blue balled again. FUCK!

Jump ahead another couple of days. To Monday night.

CLR (cute little redhead): Hey are you wearing pants?

Me: Yes, why whats up?

CLR: Just curious if you wanted to come out and grab some desert.

Me: I don't know it's late and last Tuesday sucked nuts for me at work. I can't do that again.

CLR: Please!!!!

Me: If you promise I'll be home by midnight then sure.

I was home by midnight, I also wasn't alone. Still no sex but some other fun things.

We went out again last night and it was a good time. She slept over again and we fooled around and had a lot of fun. Still no sex but I don't mind.

On top of getting blue balled by the women that I'm seeing my home PC died so I don't even have porn. le sigh.

I'm seeing the girl from the weekend tonight, let's call her the Artist. I'm kinda excited we are going to an art opening. Should be good.

There was also a plenty of fish date in there somewhere but it wasn't anything good. Nor was it exceptionally bad enough to even bother writing about. It isn't going to work out so I'll leave it at that.

I'll try and keep you posted more often.

Later Days,

PS. This is a little aside. When I was with the Artist on the weekend she scratched the shit out of my back. I loved every second of it but what my conundrum stems from is when the CLR saw me without my shirt on and the scratched are still there she didn't even bat an eyelash. Is she just too naive to realize what they are or does she just not care?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A New First

So I know I haven't been posting as often as I used to, sorry. I do have a small post today.

I follow a couple of blogs that post crazy messages from people on online dating websites. Well, I just got my first weird one. 

First off she messaged me telling me I was amazing. So I of course responded with a thank you and to get to know her a little bit better. She didn't have a very informative profile, so read on.

Me: So what do you do for fun, I mean, other than music, movies, and drawing?

Her: "Hmmm... good question. What do I do for fun other than all that stuff? Well... it's going to sound, eh.. Weird? Nerdy? Something. I like to read the dictionary for fun. So many interesting definitions and words. Haha. Other things I do for fun... I guess it depends who I'm with and what we can think of. I've had Perfume fights in Sephoras, tried every hat on in a hat store. I go and watch the northern lights, meteor showers, try to out 'moo' the cows in farmers feilds."

Not the craziest message I've ever seen but ... still left me a little speechless. 

I've had a busy little bit of a week/weekend; I'll fill you all in on it later. For now back to work.

Later Days,

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

WTFW: Where the classy bitches at?

Welcome to another edition of What the Fuck Wednesday. This time I'm going to be talking about Class.

To be honest this topic first came up while I was browsing porn. I found a video of a girl with a pearl necklace, (Not That kind of pearl necklace, you perverts) and pearl earrings completed with lacy lingerie. Her hair was in a loose curls. She wasn't wearing stripper heals and her make up wasn't like that of the late heath ledger in Dark Night. Instead she was wearing nice shoes and looked like a woman that could have just come from a gala. I'd never been so turned on by a porn star that wasn't naked.

This got me to thinking. Since when did hipster chic become the go to for women that want to dress up.

I'm sorry, this is in no way attractive. I understand that it is cheap, ironic and is trying to convey your personality but What the Fuck. Appropriating your grandma's curtains for a skirt isn't sexy. EVER.

That above is pretty much what I see everywhere these days. Hipsters. The thing about hipsters is they were dressing like that so that they wouldn't be mainstream. Anything that encourages people to be cheap, lazy and not give a shit about the way they look is going to become mainstream. It is mainstream. 

So instead of giving up the hipster look they are adapting it. 
Above is a style known as rockabilly. Basically take a hipster and add tattoos and a bit of old school rock and roll. When I say old school, I mean old school, like Elvis. Then add in a bit of glam rock leopard print and go with it. I do have a little bit more respect to this because they incorporate a bit of glamour into their style but are still basically hipsters.

Then there is the frat house style. You know the ones. Popped collars, backwards hats and hoodies (we know what wearing a hoodie will get you.). Wearing skateboard brand clothing yet have never stepped on a skateboard. I call these guys the college clones. They lack originality and think brand names make them cool.
The Clone
The female equivalent of this is what I like to call ugg style. Generally Uggs, sweatpants, tshirt/hoodie something more akin to pajamas.

Now I understand the need for comfort and shit like that but ladies when going out for lunch, the mall, or for drinks, anything but grocery shopping or taking out the trash put some real clothes on. 

Last but most definitely not least is the douche style.

Does this even need an explanation. No, I didn't think so. Everyone knows the douche style, society in general makes fun of them. Yet they persist in wearing it and don't see a problem.

What style would I like to see? It's simple, Class.

The best part about classy is that it is remarkably simple. Yet ever so sexy for both men and women.

So what the fuck? Where them classy bitches at?

Later Days,

Monday, April 2, 2012

My weekend Monday, Fool's weekend.

Firstly I'm back and with a vengeance. I actually will probably have stuff to write about from now on.

I blame the winter blues. I get it pretty bad living up here in the barren wastes of Canada. The only time I saw the sun for the majority of winter was either filtered through over cast skies or through the closed blinds of my office. Closed, because I can't work with a glare.

This weekend however saw me back to my usual self filled with shenanigans and the such.

Friday started as it usually does. Drinks at Token's place. Then we went to this rad bar on the main floor of his apartment building called the Pig and Duke. It is an awesome place. Named after a famous Scottish duke that also happened to be a womanizer. Sounds like the perfect place for me. They've got awesome food and even better beer. I've never had a bad time there.

Afterwards we wandered out to a night club where I drank more and met these two girls. Well to be honest Vegas found them and I joined as the wing man. Dancing and grinding with this rather large girl. Hey a wing-man has to do what a wing-man has to do. Meanwhile I convey to Vegas that he is going to owe me.

Sure enough the women decide that they want to switch. YAY ME!!! Poor Vegas.

Things went really well. I ended up making out on the dance floor with the cute little red head that was rocking a librarian look.

The bar closed and there were too many of us to fit into a cab. So Vegas, the girls and I get into one and head out for late night breakfast. Things are going well. Cuddling with the respective girls as they'd chosen. Poor Vegas.

Breakfast is over and now comes the awkward So what is the plan now, part of the evening. The girls invite us over to hang out for a bit but mention that there is only one bed where they were planning on going.

Good news was, this was a green light for some canoodling.

Vegas gets the idea to invite them over to his and Junior's place seeing as Junior was spending the night at his girlfriends place and we'd have the place to the four of us. They were all for it.

We arrive back at Vegas's place and THREE of us got out of the cab. The cute little red head that I was with the whole night decides that she will settle for a kiss and then go home. Poor Vegas. So the three of us, Vegas, the girl that Vegas was only keeping distracted so I could get the cute one,  and I are now at Vegas's place. I come up for a minute then quickly excuse myself and go home leaving Vegas alone with his "prize". Poor Vegas.

As far as I know he was a true gentleman and gave the girl exactly what she wanted. He didn't really want to talk about it.

This is an example of a dedicated wing man. Mind you the girl was pretty cool. Had fantastic tits and a pretty face. If she wasn't as voluptuous it wouldn't have been so bad.

Saturday, I arrived home at 6 am. I am supposed to go snowboarding with my sister. This didn't happen. Instead I went snowboarding on Sunday and as I'm writing this I'm waiting for my sister to put up some decent video of me riding. When I get it I'll post it.

Sunday was a glorious day on the hill. Waist deep powder and awesome weather.

It was a very good weekend.

Easter is coming however and should make for some good stories.

Later Days,

Ps. Even though I didn't get anything out of the Friday night wing-man partnership I'm aware that I owe Vegas a "Not discriminating friend"