Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I keep getting flak for this...

Lately I've been catching a lot of flak for one of my opinions.

I've been told I lack empathy for those that have a couple extra pounds on their frame.

Let's get this out of the way first and foremost. Being fat is a choice. It is the easy choice. Between a combination of fast food and a society that is getting more and more lethargic we are soon going to have to change the size of a standardized chair.

I got into an argument with a girl that happened to be a psychology masters student. Her argument was that sometimes it isn't a choice. She said that due to socialization, or the way we view society and how we fit into it, certain individuals are taught bad habits and perpetuate the fat cycle due to the way they were raised.

My counter argument in list form.

Step 1. Look in mirror.
Step 2. Notice you are fat.
Step 3. Make choice not to eat as much.
Step 4. Look in mirror again.
Step 5. Notice you aren't as fat.
Step 6. Profit

I know that this is dumbing it down to the basics, but that is all it boils down to. It all centers on the choices you make about how you are going to live your life. (That's why I can't judge ugly people. Being ugly isn't a choice)

Yes I understand there could be thyroid issues, slow metabolisms and the such but the basics still stand. If you want to lose fat, calories in must be less than calories out, therefore eat less and exercise more. It's called self control. I was told that there are people out there that can't help it. "I eat when I'm sad and I'm sad because I'm fat and I'm fat because I eat" was a direct quote from someone arguing against me, that I had a hard time taking seriously. I don't care if you eat when your sad. Quit being sad and be awesome, realize that everyone has potential for greatness. I don't feel any sort of pity or anything toward fat people. It's a choice. Every time they open their mouth and put more food than they need in it, they are choosing to be fat.

I think that when choosing to be fat there should be consequences. I think that fat people should have to pay more for health insurance (being Canadian this translates into being taxed more). Being fat is not healthy it cause innumerable amounts of problems and complicates other health issues as well. Why should the health care system have to carry the weight? If someone makes the choice to be fat, they should have to deal with the consequences of being fat.

Beauty is more than skin deep.

Being fat and irresponsible toward your own body is one thing but then the other day I was pointed to this article. That talks about parents of obese children losing custody of their kids. I totally agree. It would take that fucking bullshit "socialized to be fat" argument off the table. The child will generally be happier in life if it is taught to live a healthy lifestyle.

None if this information about why people are fat is new, yet we as a society are so focused on being politically correct and we try to treat these people as equals, when they should be treated like addicts. We try and not offend them when they don't need to be coddled. Why not offend them, piss them off, it might give them motivation to get better.

I also refuse to date fat chicks. Flat out refuse. When it comes to dating online I won't even look at a fat chicks profile for longer than it takes to figure out if she is fat or not. Why? Is it a preference? Is it superficial of me?

Absolutely not. I'm an active guy. I snowboard, go to the gym, jog, rock climb, swim, and play just about any sport that I can and have time for. I know just by looking at a "large Marge" that we have nothing in common. She could have the best personality and we could have long talks about life the universe and everything, but she would never see me because I'll be out and about doing things while she sits on the sofa watching TV and eating double chocolate fudge cake. I can tell that a girl with extra weight and I will not get along not because I'm an asshole, but because being fat is a lifestyle, and it's one I don't live.

If you've continued reading this far without wanting to kill me, I'll explain where this hard stance comes from.

I used to be the fat kid. It was part genetics, part diet, part lifestyle, when all combined worked out to me being a little larger than I should have been. I was ridiculed to the point of wanting to kill myself. I even tried to once (I was 12, clearly lacking the adult coping skills I'm talking about in this post), and fucked up my liver function for years. I didn't kill myself though and through a lot of effort, a diet change or twelve and taking up a healthy lifestyle I was able to get myself to where I am now. I'm not fat, but I'm not as "ripped" as I could be.

The way I see it, if I can change my lifestyle and make the choice to not be fat, anyone can. They just need the right motivation or inspiration to do it. Being empathetic to their "plight" is not going to do this. We as a society need to take a harder stance against obesity. So yes I let fat people know that they are fat and should work on being not fat.

I'm not insensitive, I'm sensitive to the things that matter, like health, and happiness. Stop eating as much, I couldn't really give a flying fuck if you're hungry.


  1. Great post.

    I kind of feel the same way that you do.

  2. It's hard for me to tell what your definition if "fat" is.

    I'm not skinny by any means, and I am also not fat. However, I bet there are still some assholes out there who think I am "fat" and won't date me because of it.

    You've been to my blog, you've seen my pictures. I'm working towards "althletic" and at the moment would categorize myself honestly as "average."

    On the flip side, I am not into big men. And when I say "big" I mean way overweight, unhealthy, inactive couch potatoes. Sloth-ism is not attractive to me, being healthy and active is. Sue me.

    Kelly @ My Joy Project

  3. @OT: Thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way.

    @kelly: I've seen your pics, you madam are not fat.

    I should clarify what fat is I guess. A couple extra pounds no problem, that is manageable. No, when I say fat I mean that there are rolls. Curvy can be sexy, rolls not so much.

  4. Then you should change it to obesity and not fat, though I guess that's just the crow calling the raven black in some perspectives.

    You know I AM fat. I try to lose weight. There was a point in my life where I did after I changed my diet and actually exercised 3 times a week. Then depression kicked in again, and all of a sudden I'm back to where I was (or even worse).

    I agree that people shouldn't encourage the image by saying "you're beautiful the way you are, even if you're fat." I think they should change it to, "you're beautiful if you're healthy." Because it's not beautiful to be 300 pounds overweight and have gigantic hips. It's hazardous to the health and shows an obvious lack of self discipline.

    But your post/harangue sounds more discriminatory than anything. I actually couldn't read it all the way through because this is how I summed it up, "You're fat because you're too stupid to do anything when you look at the mirror."

    Let me clarify first and foremost that it's your blog, and it's your opinions. You're not here to please everybody (well some bloggers are, but I'll just put the shoe in my mouth). I like your blog not because I'm an acolyte who seeks validation of my opinions. I like it because you're honest, and I understand where you're coming from with this post. But let me just say, you don't approach a drug addict and say "You're a piece of shit, and it's all your fault." I think holding someone responsible is different from holding someone culpable and the latter exacerbates the issue to a point of perpetuating self-hate.

    On the lighter side, I swear to God I wish you wrote an article about why that obese actress who starred in Precious is NOT beautiful, and should NOT be allowed to preach "I'm beautiful no matter how morbidly obese I am!" It sends the wrong message that if you're unhealthy then it doesn't matter as long as you're happy.

  5. Oh and there ARE factors other than insecurities and lack of self-discipline which mount up to how a person even gets as fat as they do. The shift from a productive, agrarian society into a consumerist society brought along a LOT of changes - including chemically induced, genetically modified, lard infested ready-to-make foods. You can argue that eating those foods are a choice, which they are. There's no denying that. But notice that obesity rates are higher among low-income families. This trash microwave-fad-food is what most can afford, and the fact that it's expedient makes it easier for others to indulge.

    People are always responsible for themselves, but I think the lack of educating people about propaganda, advertisements, and big corporation foods contributes a whole lot. You can hardly blame the Native Americans for accepting pox-infested blankets as gifts when they didn't know what they were getting into. And no, it's not a bad analogy. People are SO ignorant nowadays, they can think of trash as gifts.

  6. @Leila: I in no way hate people that struggle with their weight. One of my best friends, "tank" we call him is 300 pounds and only an inch taller than I am. I will never call an addict of any sort, whether it be a drug addict, a food addict, a cutter, a cheater, an alcoholic, or any other "a piece of shit"

    I never ever once said the choice to live a healthy lifestyle was an easy one. In fact I said being fat was the easy choice.

    If you had finished the post, I go on to talk about how I got as hardened in this department as I am. I used to be fat. I still struggle with depression, but I learned healthy behaviors to deal with it. If I can do it anyone can.

    Ignorance can not and should not ever be used as a reason behind anything. We as human beings are able to use logic, reason, curiosity, and communication to educate ourselves so that we may make well informed decisions, like how much food we should eat.

    I also know about the difference in food cost between the junk high calorie stuff and the good stuff. The thing they don't mention is that for the "same" price as a crappy meal that will fill you up you can get a lower calorie healthy meal. Sure it'll be smaller, might not give you the satisfied feeling of being full, but you'll be healthy.

    It is all about the choices you make. You can choose to be ignorant, you can choose to be fat, you can choose to be healthy.

    Jean Paul Sartre said "Mankind is doomed to be free." It's up to us how we choose to be free. I just don't respect those that make poor choices as much.

  7. Excellent post. I very much agree with the no coddling. I will support friends if they are trying to better themselves, but if people complain about things and do nothing about it they really are the ones responsible not anyone else and after a while sob stories are more than enough to piss people off.

    I myself have been guilty of complaining and not doing anything a few times. I am curvy now that I have had a kid and had several injuries in the military and now it takes work to not get fat. I like my curvy and I want to keep some of it but I have been trying to work on eating better and toning. It is a bitch for sure. Thankfully I have a great friend B who doesnt let me have any slack...I complain then I eat the hell out of carbs (which are my weakness) then go eat a big ass desert I need to do something about it and get rid of the calories or I will feel like shit the next day. The fact that she is super skinny and exceptionally hot is a motivator to me as well. It does drive me a little crazy that she could eat an entire cow and not gain any weight though.

    So bravo on taking a strong stance on such a touchy topic.

  8. LOL, I can't believe someone quoted Fat Bastarad to you! My brother James uses that quote all the time.

    I don't show any sympathy for people of the "obese" nature. People can blame it on a ton of different things. They've been raised to eat that way, they live in a unhealthy family, they eat to cope, yada yada yada. I think the best way to sum it up when people try to blame their parents way of raising them to eat unhealtht and live a lazy life is to quote Madea. LOL.

    "Your parents only job was to give you life. Its up to you to make it good or bad."

    Now, I'm going to say there are also people in your life, and around it, that are there to influence you. But it is up to you to pick whether you go with the good or bad part of their influences. Especially when it comes to eatting healthy and staying fit. You can choose what you stick in your mouth and how much. You can choose to continue to stuff your face when you feel you're going to bust. And seriously what is crying afterwards about being a pig going to do about it?

    I'm not going to apologize for my thinking, people ARE fat because they choose to be. Like you said, it's the easiest thing to just eat but it takes a great amount of stregnth to stop when you know you are full and to say no thank you to an offer of food when you aren't hungry in the first place. People complain they don't have time to exercise yet they have all the time in the world to sit at the computer or play on their phones or games for hours on end. Stop complaining and do something, I'm not going to baby anyone because they want to play the "well you don't understand" card. Because I do understand. You're lazy and want someone to say "there, there, it isn't you're fault." Because it is. And if you dare tell me you have an "eatting addiction" that causes you to eat I'm likely to laugh in your face. Claim its a real addiction all you want but you're wasting your breath.

    . . . whew, I feel better. :)

  9. Oh, and its not up to others to teach you how to live, its up to you. People want to play the "lack of education" card when it comes to health info. There are so many ways to research healthy ways of life these days. Internet, TV ( Dr Oz ), and books. So even if you don't come from a wealthy family you can still find ways to get information you want. If you don't it's your fault no one elses. Stop blaming the schools and the government you control what you put in your shopping cart and what you buy.

  10. Hm I never said people could rest easy on ignorance did I? I guess I'm a little too Confucian and didactic for some when I believe education should be spread before we point fingers.

  11. I absolutely agree with you! I think society is too politically-correct now and excuses too many bad behaviors. And all that has done is take away a great motivator - SHAME.

    Great post. :o)

  12. Awesome post. Great and cogent reasons.

    I don't have anything against fat people and I can sympathize with the ostracism and downright suckiness of it all - in a world filled with caramel candy and skinny hot girls, being fat is like looking at the floor and seeing a dozen honey donuts spelling "You fat ass."

    But it irks me when they're always begging for sympathy, especially if their problem isn't caused by genetics and is more of a "dude, you gotta stop eating" problem.

    On the bright side, fat women will never face the problem of being criticized for their lack of boobs. So...that's the silver lining in that fat assed cloud.

  13. I like fat people. They make me look better.

    LDML - There are fat women out there without any boobs...it's frighteningly horrific

  14. You know, I have extra pounds. And I have noticed it. And I am working on fixing it. I have cut the amount of food I eat in half. I run at least 4 times a week. It's not easy, and you should realize that it's not immediate. Just because a girl is 'fat' doesn't mean she isn't working on becoming skinny. But I agree, being fat is easy, but I am working my way out of it. Hell - already down 20 pounds and over 20 inches in just a few months.


  15. I'm not sure if this was bold, brilliant, or an insensitive rant by an arrogant douche. But I'm gonna follow your blog and find out.

  16. Disclaimer: this comment is directed toward bitter obese people, not people "working" on it, or happy people, and if you get offended by my comment then yes, you are a bitter obese person.

    You know.. I would never call anyone a piece of shit simply because they're drug addicts or fat.. but to be honest... almost every drug addict and obese person I've ever met simply is a piece of shit.

    Not all of them. I don't think my little sister is most of the time. And I have actually a couple very close obese friends. But they are the exception. No one likes hearing that they're the weakest gazelle in the herd but someone has to be eaten by the fucking lions.

    Exercise or run 3 times a week? How about every day if you can't cut your food intake? Depressed? Well maybe if you started working out you'd feel better about yourself. Maybe you need someone to tell you you're a piece of shit to get you off the fucking couch and to put down the twinkie. Maybe someone has to be the fat depressed person and you're it. Get happier or shut up.

    Too hard to do physical work? Stop buying all that fast food which is sooo much more expensive than eating healthy, save up your money, and buy some surgery. If you get surgery and then let yourself get fat again then yes, you're a piece of shit.

    I don't really care about the people who insist they are happy and fat, if that's true then who am I to say their lifestyle choice is wrong?

    But the fat girls that complain and are depressed and can't lose weight.. and don't do EVERYTHING they can to be healthy.. fuck you. Most fat people that complain are so bitter and angry that their only friends are animals or the internet. I'm really not this big of a bitch.

    When I see a fat kid you know what my first thought is? "Damn that kid has a lazy ass mom" Seriously. Most kids are fat because the parents are too lazy or busy to buy them some food that's good for you. Being poor has NO effect. I grew up dirt poor and instead of buying the easy meals my mom actually cooked or fixed fruit snacks and it was CHEAPER than the nuking food. If you have enough money to get your kid fat then you have enough money to feed them right. Yeah, they may have to eat some stuff they don't like, but since when did children dictate household decisions? I promise, they will eat when they're hungry enough.

    People make waaaay too many excuses like "poor people, thyroid, depressed, etc" I DONT CARE, if you want to be healthy then be healthy. FFS

    Hero you're awesome.


My frail ego requires validation.