Thursday, July 28, 2011

Crazy Ex Shows Her Face.

I have a crazy ex girlfriend that showed her face where I least expected it.

I'll start with our story.

We met when she started working at the restaurant I was working at Red Lobster. Mmm cheese biscuits.

Her name was Jaime. That is her real name and I don't feel bad for using it because well you'll see. Well Jaime and I started hanging out a whole bunch when she found out her current boyfriend was going to move to Australia for a year. She had already decided that she was going to break up with him when he left. So I didn't feel bad for the next part.

The staff from work were all out drinking and having a good time. Jaime never used to come with us because of her controlling boyfriend. Well he was out of town getting ready for his year long trip, so she came out to have some fun.

Well we hit it off like fucking magnets. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. So when it came time to go home she invited me over. I thinking with my penis said yes of course. We ended up having some mad passionate monkey sex. I mean the sex was awesome. She had an amazing body and was a freak in the sheets.

I liked this girl. I really did. Things were great. Then about three weeks into this, her room mate shows up with some Oxycontin, aka hillbilly heroin. This started a long spiral back into drugs for Jaime. She had told me she used to be a huge druggy back when she lived out east but had gotten clean and the oxy was just a recreational thing. I didn't like this.

I stuck with her for a little while longer hoping that maybe just maybe she was telling the truth and that her life would continue to progress forward. I was wrong. Soon she started having massive house parties and having all sorts of people over where she met a drug dealer.

This drug dealer threatened to break my legs, I laughed in his face. He was then informed that I wasn't someone to mess with and apologized. However, this didn't stop him from giving Jaime free drugs. I started seeing less and less of Jaime till finally I just up and said fuck it. I'm out. She started then sleeping with the drug dealer to continue getting free drugs.

I removed myself completely from the picture and didn't want anything to do with her.
(for those of you that followed me back when I was blogging on "the rules of life" you'll remember this chick known as oxychick)

I saw her about a year and a bit ago outside a casino yelling and screaming at this fat bald man dressed like a gangster, I can only assume that he was her new drug dealer/sugar daddy. I smiled to myself and drove away.

I was then informed last night that I would be seeing her again. Just not where I expected.

On mother fucking Dr. Phil. 

Checking Facebook to see what my ex girlfriends are up to just got one-upped by Dr. Phil.

My mind is still blown that this is what she has turned into.

Later Days, 


  1. That sucks, mom gives me the impression she would have aged really well. Her cousin is hot.

  2. Woah! And I thought my ex's took bad turns...none of them have ended up on Dr. Phil...yet! It's a shame that she went that route but I'm glad you cut your losses on this one.

  3. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
    That is CRAZY.

    "Checking Facebook to see what my ex girlfriends are up to just got one-upped by Dr. Phil." Is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Thanks for that.

  4. WOW. I'm so thrilled that you got out while you could and before she was able to take you down a road where you would have felt too bad leaving her. Addicts can suck you in and make you feel guilty for distancing yourself. It is sad to see her that far gone but I'm so glad it isn't something that you have to deal with.

  5. What are you gonna do if she gives you a shout out...

    "The one regret I have, thanks to drugs, is the breakup of the love of my life... NTH..."

  6. Dude that's crazy, never would have expected that would ya! xD

  7. I remember your tales of her and all I can say is you dodged a HUGE FUCKING BULLET here. BE glad you left her behind.

  8. It's good she's your ex-girlfriend. Hotness is always eliminated when one is a drug addict.

  9. Am I the only one who thinks you should get a bunch of friends over for copious amounts of alcohol and marijuana and watch this? And shouldn't you put this on a shirt and wear it around?

  10. That shirt should probably read, "My ex-girlfriend needed Dr Phil after me"

  11. Wow. That's crazy. Now I want to read some of your old posts about this chick. Good thing you got out when you did. What a wild story.

    You mentioned that she was a freak in the sheets...I could definitely see that. She's an animal alright. Goddamn.

  12. i agree with maxwell on that shit HOLY FUCKING FUCK DUDE my head just exploded. i would have had a real heart attack if i watched tv and saw that shit.

  13. I just watched the video. And fuck you. What the hell happened next?

    Oh, and I see how the sex was awesome...

  14. Maxwell, I don't see how the sex was awesome? Care to enlighten me?

    But she does have a pretty good looking fam, so I can see how maybe at a certain point she looked a bit, well-put together.

    I'd DIE to see one ex of mine in particular on Dr. Phil. Seriously, that'd make my head spin in all sorts of funky ways. WOW wow WOW...

  15. This is really sad. So young. While it is awesome that this was not your problem, it still is a very sad situation.

  16. She did use to look a lot more put together- she used to be a beautiful girl. I'm sad and shocked as well to see what has happened. My hope is that the intervention went positive and she is now getting the help she needs. Part of me is still saying "holy crap"...I remember going to parties with her back in the day of Red Lobster. :S Mind blowing.



My frail ego requires validation.