Whelmed

As many of you know I recently started my new job. I love it. I love the people here and I love what I do.

It has been a roller coaster since I got here though. The good kind of roller coaster. The kind that fills you with exhilaration and a sense of euphoria.

Day one: I come in and am off to the races. I impress everyone here with how fast I pick things up.

Day two: My boss is yet impressed as I attend my first meeting and actually had something to contribute.

Day three: My boss takes me to our affiliate companies and shows me around. While we do this he explains to me that he sees a lot of potential in me to grow with the company and wants me to bring them up to speed with the modern software that is available out there. He says he wants me to lead this department. I tell him it is day three and I am willing to do this but let me get used to the way things are done around here. I don't want to get in over my head.

Day four: I show them a neat trick that the other designer, that they've had for 10 years, didn't know, that is going to save hours of work for our purchaser. The purchaser says I'm awesome. My boss says "How many hours have we wasted in the last 10 years because of this." I feel like I deserve a cookie.

Fast forward to day 8: My boss tells me he just purchased new software for me and only me because I'm the only one that knows how to use it. I get copied on the email from the supplier and I see the cost, I lose my breath. My boss has just spent 6 grand on me and I've been here less than 2 weeks.

Yesterday: After company meeting the other designer says he needs to have a meeting with the head bosses. I'm nervous, I'm thinking shit! "Am I not doing well enough despite the advances I've made." "Did I shine too bright at first and am now letting them down." "Oh great I'm going to be unemployed again." "Will my old job landscaping take me back?" I generally was freaking the fuck out.

Today: My boss tells me that we need to hire another designer because the old one, the one that has been here for 10 years, is leaving. He gave his 2 week notice yesterday. "It's your department now, it's up to you who we hire." Immediately I felt better. The epiphany of, "oh shit I'm bumping out the dinosaur designer and that was what the meeting was about", took me by surprise.

Needless to say this is not what I expected when I took this job. I'm anxious, nervous and excited balled into one tiny office. I have no idea what to do. Do I get a guy with more experience and learn under him. Or do I bring in a guy just like me that I can shape this department and this company into something great the way I see it. The way I want it.

I'm liking the second option, but I'm terrified. What if I can't handle it? What if I fail?

My boss says he prefers the second option as well. He would rather see me grow and take this company with me. He says I've shown them I know what I'm doing and proven myself. "If you're willing to step up, The sky is the limit."

I told him I love a challenge but would get back to him on what I think would be best. I don't want to seem impulsive.

I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. My head hurts, and I think I might have some indigestion. All of which could be explained by the all you can eat sushi I had last night.