M & Me...

This is a story of missed opportunity. 

It all started when I was 14-ish. I was a member of a religious youth group that would have activities involving all the youth from the neighboring regions, so a couple hundred kids. There were dances and other such fun things that the church would put on. There was this one girl, we'll call her M. I fell in love at first sight.

M lived in a town that was about 5 hours away. Quite the distance for a kid that doesn't own a car nor drivers license. I also had a healthy fear of hitchhiking and buses. So needless to say I was not in prime position to get any mad passionate monkey sex. And if you think at 14 I was a little young to be thinking this then you obviously haven't looked at many 14 year old boys dirty socks. (This is probably one of many reasons why I'm no longer a member of said church)

So we met when we were 14 and I'd get to see her once every couple of months. We would always get to slow dance, which at 14 and religious was as close as I was ever allowed to get to a girl. We would dance to Lonestar's Amazed. It became our song. We would dance and as we got older we got closer and closer. Not emotionally or anything, young puppy love doesn't count. No physically closer, inch by glorious inch. 

By the time I was 16, M was a regular in my spank bank thoughts. This started to become apparent when we would dance to our song. (Looking back I realize how shitty the church DJ's were. Never mixed it up at all in 4 years) At 16 we would go find a dark corner to dance to our song, this was so we could break the bible rule. Which for those of you that don't know is "When slow dancing with a member of the opposite sex one must always make room for GOD, that is why there should always be room to put a bible between you" Fucking bullshit, this is where the church starts blue balling you. 

Where was I? Slow dancing, we were basically dry humping in slow motion to the rhythm of "baby I’m amazed by you-ooo" and this would make my pants remarkably uncomfortable. My hands were busy holding onto her waist and I couldn't exactly let go to "adjust". So I had to rotate my hips so that the dry humping was going on with my thigh. Which fucking sucks, by the way. Ladies don't grind on a guys leg, what do you think you're accomplishing. 

After the first time I learned and tucked it to the side or up so that it would be slightly less obvious to everyone else that I was "excited". But I figured M had to know. I was wrong.

Years later after we had lost touch for a while, I think I was 19 almost 20, we arranged to meet up where she was living and I happened to be visiting. We had a great talk about the old days and how we both felt.

Me: "I always liked you, ya know."

M: "Well at first I figured as much but as we got older I thought you started to feel differently."

Me: "Why is that?"

M: "You would always turn away slightly when we were dancing together."

I started laughing and blushing really badly at this point because I was busted and no way out.

Me: "I turned away because I was hiding my ... boner" (yup, straight up used that word)

She started laughing and I started to feel even worse. Great she'll never talk to me again. 

M: "Oh, if I'd have known that I'd have taken you someplace and fucked your brains out."

Now this story isn't over but that is as far as I'm going to take it. I was so scared of her finding out that she turned me on that I ended up missing out on some amazing sex and possibly a healthy relationship. I found her remarkably attractive but hid how it made me feel and what it made me want to do. Now every time I hear "every little thing that you do, baby I’m amazed by You-ooo" I think about opportunities lost and really uncomfortable pants.