Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Small Problem...

I have this great happy post about my day trip to the mountains but it will have to wait. Instead you get a post about a dilemma.

So In my Bumpity post I talked about this girl I went home with but didn't have sex with and probably wouldn't see again. Well I've went and proven yet again why I have my moniker.

You see before I ended up going home with her, I gave her my number. So needless to say she has been messaging me all fucking weekend. It isn't that I'm intentionally blowing her off, I'm just not trying, at all, to find the time to see her. No matter how I type that I sound like an asshole.

You see I'm sure I don't really want to see her again but I couldn't flat out say that to her face. I can't say I don't like her personality because honestly I only met and talked to her when we were both intoxicated so I don't know her. I don't want to tell her it isn't going to work strictly because I don't find her attractive without beer goggles. So instead I made sure that I stayed remarkably busy and therefore she doesn't know that I don't want to see her. Just that I'm a busy guy.

However, now that I've let the texting go on for the last 3 days I feel like I've lead her on a bit. Instead of being straight forward she still thinks that I'm going to go over to her place and finish what I started. When? She doesn't know, but she somehow thinks "maybe" to every time she suggests I come over whenever I'm finished what I'm doing translates as "I'll be there ASAP"

What the hell can I tell this girl to get it across that it isn't going to happen without sounding like a complete asshole. I'm not worried about my reputation, I just don't want to hurt the girl's feelings.

Have I mentioned that I suck at being tactful.

"I'm not going to come over, ever." Curt and to the point and not too hurtful right?

However she will ask why, I know she will because I'd want to know too.

"Because you have the body of a fifty year old diabetic." Umm nope can't use that one.

"I'm just not attracted to you." That would work, except that would mean I found her attractive when I was hammered. Not so good for her self esteem.

I could go the bullshit line. "I just don't think it will work"

The inevitable why.

"It's not you it's me." Ugh I feel dirty just typing those words.

OK all you lurkers out there that read and never comment I need your help here. What the hell can I say or tell this girl that will get rid of her without hurting her feelings?


  1. Just be honest. Honest and nice. That should work.

    And if that doesn't work tell her that her vag tastes like brussel sprouts and how you are allergic to them.

  2. @OT: I can't be honest and nice. In this situation they are mutually exclusive.

    Oh and I love Brussel sprouts, baked nice with a little bit of olive oil and some salt and pepper.

  3. "I only expected a one night thing and I don't want anything more then that."

    Then just ignore her...or block her.

    Those are my words or wisdom. Good Luck buddy.

  4. You just aren't feeling it?

    I don't think you have to be brutal to be honest. Just tell her you're not feeling it.

    Being the chick hearing that at least you don't wonder what happened. It's pretty cut and dried, there's no rule that says you must desire every woman you meet.

  5. Tell her she reminds you too much of your mom...that usually does the trick, so I've been told


My frail ego requires validation.