I am so frustrated at the moment.
My life is just starting to go in the right direction. I felt great, fantastic, exuberant even.
Then I answered the fucking phone when my mother rang.
"Soon I'm going to be skinnier than you." Is the first thing she says to me. "Get your ass in gear" Was the second.
This was followed by a 25 min conversation.
I don't know how she does it but she managed to make me feel insecure and worried that I'm going to screw everything up and die a fat lonely homeless man on the streets. This is probably because that is pretty much what she said minus the homeless part.
She wonders why I never really want to talk to her. It could be that I suffer from minor depression every single time I push that end button.
She ended the conversation with "You have to prove you are worthy; you don't exactly act like a 28 year old."
I admit that I've made mistakes in the past but I choose to believe that I've learned from them. They shouldn't condemn me to failure forever.
Sometimes I wish I could just cut her completely out of my life.
I've done this well so far without encouragement mom, imagine how I could have turned out with a little bit of positive reinforcement.
I've given up on doing anything to try and make my mother happy. I do whatever I can to make myself happy, but that woman just keeps dragging me down whenever I feel some positive momentum.
Is it so hard for her to just say "good for you" instead of "How long till you screw this one up."
She believes that everything bad that has happened to me was my fault. Then says that I should take responsibility for my actions when I actually explain the situation.
Why do I let her bother me so much?
Sorry for the rant I just needed to vent a little.