Yesterday I was involved in a nice little twitter chat with http://www.singleswarehouse.net/ and a couple other bloggers about communication. Which brought to light how much I've been rationalizing Chase's communication or lack thereof.
I'll try and have a conversation with her via text and that just doesn't happen. Most times it takes several hours and sometimes it takes her days to respond. At first I was perfectly fine with this; it went well with my avoidant behavior. It's been almost a month now though and we've been on three whole dates. I'm fine with moving slow but this is ridiculous. What the fuck is the point?
During the chat yesterday I was told that we may just be on different pages. Which is fair, we may be. I was also told that I should talk to her about it. Now I'd love to but I have a feeling that doing so over text isn't exactly kosher. This involves setting up a date, which is like pulling teeth. Not because we don't have time for each other, that's never been a problem. She just doesn't respond to messages in time to set things in motion so a lot of the time my week fills up with friends and other activities by the time I'm able to find out when she is available. Most of the time I've been able to either squeeze her in or shuffle stuff so that we can have some time. This is just getting more and more frustrating, to the point now that I'm not sure I care.
One point of the chat struck me like a high five to the face. I don't know if it was a demographic thing, or even a generation thing but phoning people seems to be very important. I never phone anyone. I mean like EVER. I just don't like it, never have. I don't even phone my mother and she gets mad because of it. When I'm sick, I email into work to let them know I'm not coming. I literally never phone anyone. I don't really answer my phone either. Not out of discomfort on that one, I just never seem to hear it. During the chat though it seemed to be this huge deal that the guy actually phones girl. Who knew. I guess I may have to give it a try.
This newly required skill, I don't think is going to be used with Chase. I just don't see it happening. It may be my avoidant nature or it could be that it just isn't working. Either way I'm sick of chasing and not getting anywhere. Like I said what the fuck is the point? I'm getting nowhere but frustrated.
Later Days,
Hero
As a girl who has both chased and been chased, if she's interested, she'll make time for you. Which includes not waiting hours, much less days, to return your texts.
ReplyDeleteShe may fall into a dead faint if you call, seeing as she can't take a second to respond to a text. I agree... if she was interested you'd be getting more feedback from her.
ReplyDeleteI've chased someone who didn't want me, wouldn't have chased me, and only liked the fact I was chasing her. When I finally realized it and stopped, a whole world of possibilities opened to me that I didn't see before and I'm so much happier now. Some women (and men, I'm sure, to be fair) like the idea of being chased, but that's it. Your time is more valuable. I believe if she's meant for you you'll get feedback. If not, she wasn't.
ReplyDeleteGetting calls and hearing a man's voice is great! I usually text but it's always nice to hear the voice now and then. I'm still saying a 1/8 ratio though. For every 8 conversations you have one should be on the phone. Not an hour long gab session but a man's voice is very sexy to me. I like hearing it.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, Vixen is right...if she was super into you she'd jump on your texts not wait days to respond. That's ridiculous. I've stared down a clock waiting 2 minutes before texting to not seem like I'm always next to it...which I usually am. lol.