Monday, October 15, 2012

Growth: Games of Life and Love.

In my last post I decided to call the girl I went out with a couple times Chase, because I'm sure if I want her I'm going to have to chase her.

It's come to my attention lately while I was browsing dating profiles online that there is a startling amount of people that claim they don't play "games". I was at first excited because I don't want to date someone addicted to World of Warcraft. Then I realized they were probably talking about emotional games, which made me more excited because I, like most people, do not enjoy drama. In fact I thought to myself, "I don't play games either."

However, believe it or not, I do.

Don't believe me? Let me explain.

Since I realized that I'm going to be the one that has to chase after Chase, one thought has been persistent in my mind and at first I thought it might be my avoidant nature. I don't think it is. I don't want to be the only one investing in this. I want her to initiate contact. I want to feel like she wants to go out with me. This alone makes it not part of my avoidant behavior. So without a real conscious effort I started playing a "game". Let's see if she will be the one to contact me. A game we both lose I think.

I went and looked in the book to see if it had any advice. It did. "Effective communication is key." Well no shit. I want her to communicate with me. I don't think that is what the authors meant though, because I kept reading. I should, instead, initiate contact and communicate what I would like from her. This just seems so cold. I think that if she is interested she should be showing some, you know, interest. She could however be doing what girls in the movies do and be waiting, holding her breath, for my call. Do women really do that?

I'm reminded of the move/book "He's just not that into you". Does it work both ways? Is there a double standard? What are the signs that "She's just not that into you"?

With all of these doubts in my mind I realized something. I like this girl, she seemed to like me. I should just text her. I've been letting my fears and doubts rule my actions. Why should I require the validation of her texting me. The book says that secure type people don't bother with worrying, they just do and either it works or it doesn't. I contacted her.

Holy Crap, I think I'm making progress.

Later Days,

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My frail ego requires validation.