Friday, November 25, 2011

FFSF: Perception

I've been doing a fair amount of thinking these last couple days since things with the doctor haven't worked out.

Now I know you've seen my side of the story because I wrote it out for you but with my telling the story you've seen it colored through my eyes. I know I'm not perfect; fuck no one is, but I didn't expect what she said in that fateful text message to bother me so but it has been. This is what she said.

"Hey, I thought about it after you left and I decided that it's not worth being with someone just for the sake of being with someone. Neither of us are happy and I've got red flags going up everywhere. I try to listen to my gut feeling too and this isn't going to work. Why don't you just come pick up your stuff on Thursday and that will be that?" 

What about this message is bothering me you might ask. The red flags I'm apparently showing. I mean I've read the book Undateable. I know I'm not one of those guys. What red flags am I showing? 

Before you list off my many flaws I want to inform you that the last sentence of the previous paragraph was rhetorical. If you don't know what that means get the fuck off my blog. 

This got me to thinking, I know, dangerous stuff. 

I saw the doctor as being needy, try hard, jealous, too geeky, even for my tastes, and unemployed. I have stories that can prove that she is all of these things, as long as my perception of the events is accurate.

I have a feeling the Doctor saw me as, emotionally unavailable, a drunk, apathetic, and over worked. I'm sure she has stories that can prove that I am all of these things, as long as her perception of the events is accurate.

The doctor would probably describe those same flaws I saw in her as, affectionate, caring, devoted, a little geeky, and a student.

I would describe those said flaws in myself as, independent, fun loving, and employed.

The lesson I've learned from this is: Everyone has different paradigms that affect the way they see the world. This is completely normal and just another thing to add to the long list of things that you have to take into consideration when trying to find a mate.

Happy Black Friday to my American readers.
TGIF for the rest of my readers.

I'm looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend where I don't have to spend any money.


  1. I give you props for putting yourself in her shoes and seeing things from a different angle. I hope the next girl you meet is someone who sees things more similarly to the way you do. Hugs.

  2. Definitely very cool that you're willing to try and see things from her perspective.

    Bottom line, two people may be decent people, but that doesn't mean they're right for each other. It's no one's fault. It doesn't mean that one or the other is inherently flawed. It just means you're different and you want different things. There's nothing wrong with that.

    Now you'll both be able to find someone more compatible to what you're actually looking for.

  3. I refuse to head out on Black's insane out there!!!

    Anyway...well said on perception and different views on things. I think you have made good sense of it but it is always upsetting to realize how others see you when it it differs from how you see yourself. Anyway...enjoy your weekend. :)

  4. "Trying to see yourself from the eyes of others" for the win. Not something easily transferable to a trophy, especially with my hand writing, but a trait that attracts respect.

  5. What Rusty said. But seriously man, maybe you're just trying too hard? Do the Yoda. Stop trying, and just do. It will either work or it won't.

    Sorry things didn't work out as planned. But if you learned something from the experience, you're a better man for playing.

  6. this whole not spending thing for the weekend... did we really accomplish this? by the way now some of the things you said over the weekend almost make sense.. except some of the stuff you spouted off before you passed out while i was talking to you, not that i minded after i thought about it it was a very drab convo. ive gotta say though, wtf is fair, and good on yah for giving it a shot any ways.

  7. C'est la vie! I'd say a text is a cowards way to deliver the blow but hey i'm one of those old fashioned gals who discusses problems face to face. Sorry it didn't work out for you.


My frail ego requires validation.