Sunday, December 4, 2011

New direction.

Oh Hi there. Where have you been all my life? What do you mean you've been here waiting patiently for me to post some funny anecdote or tell you about what is going on in my life?

I have been gone for a while. This is the single longest break from posting I've ever taken. It isn't that I don't love you because I do. It is strictly lack of inspiration and a lack of excitement in my life.

I have done abso-fucking-lutely nothing this last week and a half. That is a lie. I've done what I always do. On the weekends I go out with friends, drink my face off and waste the rest of the weekend recovering from the hangovers. During the week I work and blop my ever growing ass on a couch and watch a movie.

This isn't working for me anymore. So this weekend I hatched a new plan or challenge if you will. I needed some help though.

This challenge is going to be called "Move it fat ass or you get bic'd!" the title is still a work in progress.

What does this entail?

I got everyone of my friends involved in this except Vegas because, well, he is already in pretty near perfect shape. Fucker!

So Token, Ginger, Junior, and I are all going to be participating.

We have agreed that until the challenge is over there will be no use/abuse of vices. This for me means no drinking. That is right, until the challenge is over I will not be participating in any more shenanigans.

So what is the challenge?

We are all going to set a personal fitness goal that we all agree is achievable in roughly the same amount of time as each others' goals.

I'm going to try and lose 15 pounds. Everyone else has their own goals and it isn't my place to tell you them.

I've been trying to stay in shape for a while, (my entire life) and it just hasn't stuck. I'd be doing fine all week then the weekend would come and I'd crack my first of many beer and then light up a cigarette. I'd then spend the rest of the week recovering from my shenanigans. So How am I going to fix this? What is the motivation to stick to the goal and actually achieve it? Well out of the four of us doing the challenge the last person to complete their goal gets their head shaved, all the way down, with a razor.

The plan!

I plan on going to my younger sisters university every morning before work. I'll be swimming laps and going to the gym. Alternating days for each. I'm also going to start rock climbing again after work. My sisters are already helping me adjust my diet to allow for maximum results.

I'm excited to do this and even more excited that my friends are going to be doing it as well. It will make actually doing it easier if I have no one to distract me with partying.

Hopefully with the new environments and such I'll be able to find new inspiration to write amusing things.

Wish me luck everyone.

Later Days,


  1. Good luck!
    I'm not gonna tell anyone how to work out, but I've found that a rest day with no exercise once in a while has been absolutely necessary.

    This from the girl who's such a fitness expert she waaaaaaaay overdid it yesterday & this morning and is now practically immobile. :(

  2. Good luck man! I've been talking about getting in shape forever, but never actually do it. You're lucky you have friends and family to help you: I'm pretty much on my own, which is why it never, ever works.

    Keep us posted on your progress!

  3. I'm still stuck on you saying you loved me...I don't care if it was a general statement...and in no way accurate. Man I need help.

    Good luck! It's always great to have friends on board who know your plan and can support you. Plus I have to think the motivation of a bic'd head would help a shit ton as well! Keep us posted.

  4. Yay new fitness goals. I love working out and doing things that make me healthier. Congrats on the decision man.

  5. Don't forget that cheating gets you bic'd as well so that helps to keep on track

  6. Haha, I'm on vacation for two weeks and there are quite some changes going on!

    Well, seems like this is heading in a good direction although I will admit it would be pretty funny if you had to shave your head. Good luck on the exercise.

  7. Just found you from My Joy Project's referral and have just spent the last hour reading old posts. Not sure which post it was but you had me at "If you don't know what rhetorical means, get the fuck off my blog".

    A thing of beauty.

  8. the best part of this whole... fiasco, is not that i'm not involved... is that every one of these guys are going to look like complete tools without more excited than i should be too see this go down. good luck guys.(now who the fuck am i going to drink with)

  9. I love it! I'm glad you are going after it and have a solid, detailed plan and are putting out there so we can all encourage you and help hold you accountable. You so totally can do this! And when we have our date... we'll do something awesome and active and then have sweaty sex... oh wait, where was I going with that??? Oh right...go YOU!

  10. Good luck! Found you from your comment on my blog - wondering if your sis goes to the same school as me.


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