Thursday, December 8, 2011


(This was originally published back in February before I changed my blog to its current state. I enjoyed rereading it and hope you do too.)

I love to dream.

I don't mean dream dreams, like you get when you're asleep, because let us be honest here, mine rarely make sense. I have a recurring dream where I am Marty McFly from back to the future, and I am fighting terrorists armed with assault rifles and grenade launchers and all I have for a weapon is a giant fly swatter. So no I'm not talking about sleepy time dreams. I'm going to talk about fantasies (except I don't like that word because it has the connotation of sex in there, as in only sex, my fantasies have more than just sex).

So dreams are usually things that are lofty 'out of this world' type things. Like I would love to have sex with Katy Perry but I don't think that is going to happen or I'd love to missile kick Sarah Palin in the ovaries, but I don't think that is going to happen either. So I usually set my dreams somewhere closer to the ground. 

Like I wouldn't mind getting involved in a gun battle as I'm walking down the street.

I'd be walking down the street listening to my music kind of doing a dance, like the dance scene from Spiderman 3.

All of a sudden a car explodes in front me sending me for cover hiding behind a wheelchair access ramp, and then there is SWAT everywhere. One of them throws me a vest and gun then says "You've just been deputized". Followed is an epic gun battle between us and the unknown enemy. I end up flanking the bad guys using a non standardized strategy and just as I'm about to end the battle I notice that the people I was fighting were actually the good guys. I then turn the tides the other way and save the day. I get offered a job on the spot, but turn them down and go back to my usual daily life but with the memory of my heroics. 

I like how I consider that more possible than having sex with Katy Perry. 

I do have a dream that I think is possible. I call it my perfect weekend.

The weekend starts early; I get off work at noon. I have a solo camp out planned. I'm driving myself out to the mountains to do an overnight trek in the mountains just myself. I've got all my gear all set and ready for when I'm done work. I hop in my jeep (not FJ I fucking hate that thing) and drive the 2 hours to get to the trail head. I start my long trek into the mountains. I catch up to some other people on the trail, a couple. I chat with them for a bit. We hike for a couple of hours but they aren't heading to the same place I am so when the trail forks we part ways. I get to my campsite just as the sun is starting to dip below the peaks of the mountains. I set up my tent and get ready to make myself dinner.

 Just as I'm settling down to cook I hear foot steps coming from the trail. A young woman steps into the light of the fire. "Oh it looks like I won't be camping alone." she says. She comes and joins me by the fire and we start chatting, getting to know each other. We share dinner under the twilight (is it weird that, that word has been forever ruined for me) as the stars start to come out. We walk out into a clearing and lay down to watch the constellations take form. I point out Orion, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. She starts to point out constellations that don't exist. We laugh as we make shapes in the stars. I have trouble picturing one of the shapes she is trying to make so she rolls over lays her head right next to mine so that she sees what I see and points the stars out to me. I still don't see it. She rolls up on her side and looks me in the eyes. I laugh because I totally could see it. She leans forward and kisses me on the lips lightly taking me by surprise. She blushes and gets up. "Shit, I totally forgot to set up my tent, and now it is dark." I tell her she can sleep in mine; I'll sleep under the stars. That is what I usually do anyway. The tent is for my shit so it stays dry. So that is what happens I sleep under the stars and she sleeps in my tent. 

I'm awoken the next morning by the smell of breakfast; which is oatmeal, with chocolate chips in it. Over breakfast I ask her what her plans are for the day. She doesn't have any. We decide that we would hike out together. We laugh and smile as we hike our way back to our vehicles. I ask her if I could see her again. She says she has nothing planned for that night. I get her number and tell her she should be ready to go out around seven and dress up. I drive home feeling good, rejuvenated from the mountain air and the hours away from civilization. 

After showering and getting my self back to normal I call her and double check that we are still on for the night and to get her address. I then get dressed in my best and leave to go pick her up. When I arrive at her place she looks stunning. She asks where we are going and why we are so dressed up. I tell her it is a surprise. We pull up the concert hall and I give my keys to the valet. She tells me she has never been here. We go in to watch and listen to Vivaldi's Four Seasons. She is grinning from ear to ear the entire night.  As we leave the concert hall she grabs my hand and leans against me, "That was amazing. What's next?" I shrug a little and admit I didn't have anything planned after this. "How about we go out for a couple drinks" she suggests, "there is a great wine bar by my place." We go and chat for a couple hours till we are informed that the place is closing. I drive her back to her place and get out to walk her, to her door. As we arrive at her door step I turn her to me, grab her hips and pick her up so she is up a stair, almost face to face with me. I raise my hand and tilt her face up to look at mine and lean in and kiss her. She wraps her arms around me and kisses me back. 

This is wear it is no longer PG. Those of my readers that know me in real life probably have never seen this side of me, but here goes. If you don't want to read smut, stop here. 

I mean it, stop if you don't want to read about sex.

I slide my hand up her side and pull her in tight to me. I can feel her soft breasts against my chest, I can feel her pulse racing as our lips part and tongues dart in and out of each other mouths playfully. I pull away slightly grabbing her bottom lip with my teeth pulling on it. I slide my other hand up her side and into her hair, my hand cupping the back of her head and I pull her face to mine again. She stands on her tippy toes to try and get closer to me as her hands explore my broad shoulders and back. Our eyes are closed as we embrace. All I can feel is her soft hair in my hand, her slender back in my other. I can smell her as I try and draw rapid breath through my nose. All I can hear is her soft whimpers of pleasure every time I pull away a little bit to nibble on her lip. This reverie is interrupted as a car honks there horn as they drive by. She pulls away and holds both my hands as she faces me, letting go with one hand to rub the excess saliva off her lips, only to quickly grab my hand again.

"Would you like to come in?" she asks.

"More than anything else," I respond.

She fumbles with the keys, but eventually gets us into her building. She grabs my hand and leads me up to her apartment. Once inside, she turns to me again puts both hands on my chest as I draw her close to me again. She is looking up into my blue eyes and says. "I haven't had this much fun in twenty four hours, ever." I tell her the night isn't over, and pick her up and kiss her; she hikes her skirts up and wraps her legs around my hips kissing me passionately. I slide my hand up her thigh past her stockings, feeling the softness of her skin, my other hand holding her to me around her lower back. I walk forward slamming into a wall where she pulls away and laughs, I take the chance to bury my face into her neck, nibbling softly right where the shoulder meets the neck, her laughs turn into moans as she puts her feet down dropping away from my attack on her neck. She pushes me backwards with a little smirk on her face, screaming mischief. I'm to busy looking into her eyes to pay attention to where she is pushing me. I trip over backwards onto the couch. She pounces on top of me grabbing my hair, turning my head and bites my neck. I arch my back in pleasure, causing her to giggle. "See, two can play at that game, she whispers in my ear sucking my earlobe into her mouth. She sits up, takes a deep breath and sighs. 

"You sir, are trouble.” she says, I smile and don't say anything. "What?" she says. 

"I'm the one that is trouble, yet you're the one undoing my shirt." I respond and flip her over so she is lying on the couch, "Let me help you," I say as I take off my shirt. She reaches up and grabs me behind my shoulders and pulls me down on top of her. I support most of my weight with one hand as my other runs over the front of her bodice; she moans encouragement into my mouth. I slide my hand behind her back and unzip the top of her dress, giving me access to the clasp on her bra. With a flick my fingers the clasp is undone, causing her to pull away, smile and say "Well done, but wait." Kissing me as she stands me up, she leads me out of the living room.

Into her bedroom, where I let her push me onto her bed. Standing at the foot of the bed she reaches up behind her and unzips her dress the rest of the way and does up her bra, then shrugs her shoulders out of the straps. She pushes the slinky dress down off her hips, past her knees and steps out of it. She stand back up after bending over where all I could see was the top of her head, and she is wearing black lace bra with matching garter belt and panties. My pants were getting very uncomfortable just looking at her, still standing with that mischievous smirk on her face. I sit up on my elbows to get a better look at her. She walked towards the bed and crawls up towards and on top of me, pushing me back down kissing me gently and turning my head to whisper in my ear, "You like what you see?" I nod my head, "Prove it." she says and bites my neck again firmly holding my head so all I could do was squirm and bring my hands up to push her away and flip her over on her back. I kiss her roughly and drag my stubby fingernails down her back causing it to arch. As her back was arched my other hand slides back to the clasp on the bra and again with a flick of my fingers it comes undone.

"Was that with your other hand?" she whispers past my lips.

"Mmmhmm," I moan into her neck, my hands exploring her back and sides, purposely avoiding her, almost exposed breasts. I'm still on my hands and knees over top of her and she reaches up with her hands on my back and her feet around my hips and pulls me heavily down on top of her, her hips immediately starting to grind against my, already very tight pants. I lean back a little and kiss my way down her jaw line, past her neck using my chin to push the lace away from her breasts. I work my way to her exposed nipples pulling one of them into my mouth quickly moistening it and releasing it only to blow on it ever so lightly. The hot and cold bringing goose bumps to her skin and a shivering moan to her lips. I kiss my way over to her other breast to give it the same treatment, except as I blow on the second one I grab the other breast roughly causing her to grind herself harder into my excited sex, moaning loudly. I kiss my way back up to her lips where they are parted in heavy breathing. I smile as I look into her half lidded eyes. She grabs my head and kisses me hard enough to send a spark of pain through my lips. I let her flip me over where she straddles me and kisses her way down my chest undoing my belt and fly with her hands as she drags her tongue down the center of my chest, edging closer and closer to my belt line. She grabs my pants on both sides pulling them down taking my boxers with them at the same time, freeing me from the tightness of my pants. 

She half smiles out of her mouth as she looks at my naked body, obviously liking what she sees. Her hands rub up my legs, from my feet where she had removed what was left of my clothing, as she got closer to my nether regions she slowed down and circled it with her hands getting closer and closer using less and less of her hand till the was only dragging one finger up my length holding the tip down slightly against its natural upwards tendency. She held it there as she slowly lowered her mouth down to one side to breathe heavily on it, the heat of her breath sending waves of pleasure through my body, first down one side then the other. Then as he mouth was approaching the tip once again she moved her finger out of the way as her lips parted just enough to rub against the tip as it slid into her mouth. I sigh loudly as she holds it just inside her warm mouth for a second before her tongue darts forward to swirl around the ridge of the head. Her spare hand, not supporting her weight, comes up to grip firmly around the base as she more vigorously slid my length in and out of her mouth applying just enough suction. Just as I'm about grab her and pull away to stop my release she lets go completely, with a very self satisfied grin on her face. 

I look at her with surprise and lust. I sit up and grab her by the shoulders flinging her from where she was kneeling onto her back towards the pillows. I kiss her hard and pull her hair firmly, my spare hand groping her breast and dragging my fingernails down her sides around her front and down past the lacy waistband of her panties. He swollen lips are already wet. I move my head down past her breasts and pull her panties off (smart girl wore them on top of her garter belt) as I go, all the way off. I kiss and scrape my rough five o'clock shadow up her legs down the inside of her thighs, stopping short of her exposed lips. She edges her self closer and closer to my face, whether on purpose or not, I can tell she longs to feel my tongue against her clit. I kiss one side first pulling one lip into my mouth then the other and slide my tongue along the slit starting just below the hood and all the way down to the velvety entrance, where I slide my tongue inside of her ever so slightly, pulling a gasp from her. Then I pull my tongue back out and slide it back towards the hood, slowing as I get closer. I blow lightly against the hidden clitoris then without warning I pull the hood and clit into my mouth twirling it with my tongue. He body convulses in pleasure, one hand grasping her breast roughly, digging her nails into the skin, the other hand entangled in my hair holding my mouth firmly against her sex. Gasping for air already, I pull away briefly to let her relax for a second and after she has gathered a couple of heavy breaths I go back to sucking her clitoris into my mouth pinching it lightly with my lips I gently hum against it, stopping the gasps completely as her body spasms in pleasure. She pushes my face way and drags me bodily towards her face kissing me.

 "I need you inside me," she says, reaching down between us guiding me to her opening, rubbing my head through her wetness, against her clit before slipping me inside her. Her eyes close and she tilts her head back as I am barely inside her I kiss her neck and pull back out a little bit. Holding still, till she pouts and looks back at me, just as she was about to say something I slide the rest of the way in. I feel her hot wetness against my base, as her eyes go wide and her mouth gapes open. I don't wait; I pull out and slide back in slower this time, giving her a chance to breath. I continue to increase the pace; we're kissing each other and pulling hair. Her nails dig deep into my shoulders encouraging me to go faster. Without notice I pull out and flip her over onto her stomach, I pull her hips up and enter her from behind. Without my shoulders to grab onto, she grabs the sheets stretching them tight between her hands. I slam into her harder and harder her breaths getting shorter and shorter till she is holding her breath. Her body starts to shake and shudder under the effort. Her knuckles turn white as she screams her orgasm and I feel her insides grip me and hold tight. She collapses after her orgasm subsides. She rolls over and looks at me, a sheen of sweat starting to appear on her forehead. 

"Lay down," she says. I do as commanded. She straddles me but instead of guiding me inside her she crawls forward, pulling the pillow out from under my head she guides her pussy towards my mouth. I bring my hands up to her ass and let her grind herself against my mouth and tongue. She grips the headboard of the bed. I stick my tongue out as far as I can and she grinds her opening onto it. I taste her slightly bitter sweetness as she moans and grinds. Then without warning she slides back down to straddle my hips. I'm inside her before I know it. She pins my hands down and grinds her wetness against me, faster and faster, looking into my eyes biting her lips in pleasure. She lets go of my hands and grabs my hair and bites my neck. My hands go to her ass guiding her faster and faster. I can start to feel my orgasm build, I don't want to cum yet so I try and stop her but she looks at me and shakes her head. Riding faster and gripping tighter with her insides, there is nothing I can do but moan as I explode inside her. I can feel her orgasm subside as her muscles spasm pulling at my supersensitive cock. She collapses with me inside her still, kissing my check lightly. 

We fell asleep naked in each others arms. In the morning I was hit in the head with a towel. "Go shower," she says standing at the side of the bed wrapped in a towel, her hair still wet. 

I shower and get dressed, I felt weird wearing my best clothes again. She asks what I've got planned for the day. I tell her I'm probably am just going to chill at home and watch cartoons and play video games. I ask if she wants to join. She does. We go to my place where I change into jeans and a t-shirt and watch cartoons all day and then I cook her dinner. 

I make balsamic, spinach, basil, and cheese stuffed chicken with red pepper sauce, served over rice with steamed lemon pepper asparagus. She goes home after dinner. I go to sleep, and dream dreams of combat with giant flyswatters. 

This would be my perfect weekend. It's got mountains, booze, sex, food, cartoons, and culture.

There you have my first attempt at smut. 


  1. hooray for smut!

    by the way, "you've just been deputized" is the greatest line i've ever heard.

    and i would also like to have sex with katy perry.

  2. I remember this one! Just as good the second time around. I'm pretty sure I told you I wanted you over at my naughty blog for a guest post...the invite is still there. ;)


My frail ego requires validation.