I've been getting in a bit of trouble for writing at work so I apologize that my posts haven't been more forthcoming. Deal with it.
Last night while The Doctor and I were entangled she brought up the hated "what the fuck is this?" talk.
I am not every very good at dealing with this chat. It drives me bonkers. It is a short trip normally, but this particular conversation drives me there faster than a Ferrari could.
Is it because I'm afraid of commitment? No, in fact I thrive on it. I however am afraid of committing to the wrong thing or person.
The talk wouldn't change anything the doctor and I are doing.
The whole purpose of the talk is to put a label on each other. To lay claim to each other. It is like an informal marriage where after you agree you are in a relationship you need to break up to get away from each other.
The whole purpose is to apply a sense of security. A false sense at that, because even after you have the talk you can still be kicked out of the bedroom faster than you can say dutch oven.
Next is the timing. Is it really appropriate to have the talk at the three weeks since we met mark? I don't know. Have I decided I want her as my Girlfriend. No, but I haven't decided I don't want her as my girlfriend either.
This is what I said to end the conversation. "If what we are doing makes you want to call me your boyfriend go ahead, but I'm not a fan of putting labels on things."
So I successfully dissolved the conversation by making it not a big deal. If she wants to call me her boyfriend I'm not going to stop her. Am I going to call her my girlfriend? Does it really matter?
For Fuck's sake why do people have to make things more complicated than it is. I'm going to continue on as if the conversation hasn't happened.