Wednesday, October 26, 2011

What the Fuck Wednesday: Irksome

So the general consensus is that I should man the fuck up and just ask her out.

Do I get points for trying?

Here's the story.

Monday night Junior wanted to go out for dinner, beer and watch some football. Through some serious hemming and hawing we decided to go to the place that Vino works. The food is fantastic and they have a ridiculous selection of beer. Plus it was wing night.

I know that when I go see her at work that I'm not actually going to be seeing much of her. It is a very busy pub and I'm OK with that. That wasn't the reason we went there.

We went there for the Guinness soaked lamb and cheddar sliders. They are so fucking fantastic that I, with my rather superfluous vocabulary, can't find a word that would do them justice. Scrumptious would be close, I guess.

So after the dinner and a couple pints of "Scottish heavy", which I'm tempted to say is one of the better beers in the world, we get ready to leave.







I asked her what days off she had this week to see if I was even available, turns out Wednesday and Sunday, 'she thinks', are her days off. I inform her that the movie "Anonymous" (a movie we talked about the first time we hung out, it's about Shakespeare and stuff, pretty much porn for English  majors and the like) is coming out this weekend and that I'd love to take her to it, but if she is busy I'd like to take her out on Wednesday instead.

She then tells me that she is going to try and pick a shift up on Wednesday because it is rib night and also a hockey night.

OK Wednesday is no good.

She also tells me that she will have to make sure she has Sunday off and will call me to let me know.

She hasn't called. I'm not banking on her calling. I'm not keeping my weekend free.

I'm beginning to see a pattern in the women I find interesting; it could just be all women or just women my age.

They are all unable to make plans further than three days in advance. The last three women I've found myself attracted to have all done the same thing where they just can't actually plan a head, for example:

Me: Hey what you doing next weekend?

Her: Umm I don't know. 

Me: You want to go skiing then stop in Banff and sit in the hot springs? 

Her: I don't know I'll have to check my schedule and get back to you.


(right after making out for about an hour, after a fairly successful date)

Me: OK, I have to go home.

Her: You work in the morning?

Me: Yes, otherwise I'd love to stay. When can we do this again?

Her: I don't know I'll call you.

Who are these women that have no idea what their fucking schedule looks like? I know it isn't that they aren't interested because they will call, and give me about an hours notice that they are going to be free for the evening. If I'm free, we usually have a good time but then it is followed by one of the conversations above. If I'm not free they act all downtrodden and sad. (Which doesn't work on me BTW)

I didn't think scheduling things was hard. Hey you free Thursday? You don't know? It's fucking Monday! you don't have anything planned or you do. It's that simple. If you don't, you do now.

Are they waiting to see if something better comes up? Are they afraid of commitment? What? I don't get it.

What the fuck?

Later Days,

PS. Here is the Anonymous trailer.


  1. It's either a gentle way of saying 'fuck off' or she actually means she doesn't know. She might be hoping to pick up a shift for the money she might be needing.

    Women are complex... your 'go for it' moment may have passed back when she threw her legs round it. A few days have passed since then with no attempt at contact and you then ask her out as an afterthought as you are leaving? Might not be how you saw it, but might be what she saw...

    She might need a bit more pursuing, or she might need you to seem disinterested...

    She might just have thought about it and decided no... so many possibilities, that's what makes each of us unique.

  2. Yeah, I'm speechless. Well, not technically, but wow. I know that I missed signs once that someone I'd been hanging out with was actually asking me out. But it does sound really flaky. I would say I was busy if I didn't want to go. Or I would plan around the date. I can't imagine leaving things open like that. I'm sorry.

  3. Bitches be crazy, man...

    I've personally never had that problem. Mind you, I am that problem, since I don't like making plans because I can't predict my mood several days in advance. Will I feel like wearing pants that evening? I just don't know!!!

    Advice? Do what you're doing. I think you're doing well with this.

  4. hmm, it sounds like these girls are into you but may be multi-tasking if you know what I mean... I usually pull the non-comittal plan answer if I having something else pending or hope to.

  5. I would give her benefit of doubt since this situation is a bit different as she works at night. If you work 9 - 5, then night time is your free time.

    For her, its probably the daytime that is her free time. Plus, with a bar its not M-F but can be random nights +weekend so imo tends to make it hard to schedule. Still say go for it man!

  6. I wish women were easier to figure out, for your sake. Truly, I do. I still think you did the right thing.
    I'm sorry it wasn't accompanied by a Yes, a fist bump, and another reverse piggy back hug.

  7. I'm glad I'm married so I don't have to put up with that bullshit!

  8. In my limited and unscientific experience/opinion I have to say that I've never called a guy I was honestly and truly interested in with one hours notice. I have called booty calls/friends/etc when I had nothing else to do and plans fell through and I was bored.

    It is possible that you just attract a very odd type of women but in my experience if my friends or I are interested in a man we give more than an hours notice and make sure to set up plans if we want to see him regularly. Just saying...

  9. There are books written (with a female audience in mind) that suggest that women not date anyone who tries to make plans at the last minute. If we expect that from men, you should be able to expect that of her. Good for you for trying but also for NOT waiting around for her. Making plans in advance is just a part of dating and if she can't then she isn't really interested in dating right now. You did good though. It's not easy to ask people out but it's really the only way to figure out if they are interested.


My frail ego requires validation.