Monday, October 3, 2011

My weekend Monday: Meh...

The original tittle for this post was "Cock Sucking Bloody Fucking Shit Storm on a Stick."

I'm not in a happy place at the moment. This weekend sucked more donkey cock then an eastern European girl traffic'd into the Mexican sex slave industry.

To start with, my phone got jacked and I haven't gotten it back yet. I'm not a happy camper about this. I was smart and installed Lookout mobile security on my phone. So I can track it. I tracked it to a house so I know where it is. I also locked it, so even if you pull my SIM card out of it the phone will still be useless. I just want it back I don't even want to press charges just gimme my fucking phone back. I don't have $530 bucks to go buy a new one.

Needless to say because I have no way of communicating with the world my weekend was relatively low key. I  did nothing but try and get my phone back on Friday. Then I tried again to get my phone back Saturday morning. I then spent the rest of Saturday at the office doing work.

After I left work Saturday evening, I was in a bad mood so I did what I always do to solve my problems. I crawled into a bottle. I went over to Vegas's place and drank a whole bunch of tequila then we went to a bar where I had an interesting conversation with a couple young women.

Me: Your hair is ridiculous.

Her: It's my snooki bump.

Me: I know what the hair style is. It is still ridiculous.

Her: I just love Jersey Shore.

Me: I hate that show. ( I wanted to say: I think they should all die a slow painful death by having a cactus grow up their rectums.)

She then turned and walked away from me without saying another word.

What is wrong with people? Don't they realize that Jersey Shore is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with society.

I eventually drank enough that I passed out in a chair playing video games. Apparently I was speaking in half sentences that weren't even remotely related to the ones before them.

I woke up on Sunday, then promptly took a nap. Then I went to work again because I had a project due this morning. I was at work until almost midnight.

Yea my weekend was awesome. To quote Fight Club "I wanted to kill every panda that wouldn't fuck to save its species."

In case you were wondering, because I didn't have my phone I wasn't able to call Vino to go out for drinks with her. She probably thinks I'm a dick because of this.

I just want my fucking phone back!!

Later Days,


  1. Holy crap man that sucks. Hope you get your phone back soon. Have the cops been able to do anything?

  2. very.bad.weekend. People who steal suck! hope you get it back soon!

  3. Shit that is not good! I hope you get it back soon my lovely! And you should do something as it has ruined your whole weekend and I am sure she will understand too.

  4. Sometimes you gotta be assertive and just get the damn phone! You know where it is, do what you gotta do to get.

    Jersey Shore sucks!

  5. You sooo dodged a bullet with the Jersey Shore chick. Yikes. Sorry about the phone nightmare. Hope it's resolved soon.

  6. That super sucks! Sorry. I hope that you get the phone back.

  7. Okay, now I don't feel so bad about MY weekend, which consisted of me going to youth group and masturbating in bed.


  8. I love the original title of the post! And I hope you get your phone back too. I'd be so lost without mine!


My frail ego requires validation.