Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I'm not in Jail.

I know I've been MIA for the last week and a bit, and I don't even have a good reason. I'm not in jail, nor have I been in jail. Should I have gone to jail, possibly.

This last week has been crazy busy at work. The oil industry here in Alberta has taken off. There is a new statistic out there that says that Alberta will be roughly 200,000 people short when it comes to workforce in the next 2 years. So to all my readers out there that need jobs, start looking in Alberta. I mean this is Canada, so our immigration laws are a joke. I'm just saying.

Other than work I have been busy as well. The sun is shining so unless I'm at my office I haven't been in front of a computer. I do read everyone's blogs but only from my phone so I can't comment.

Now that that is out of the way what have I been up to.

Last weekend I had a friend come into town on Thursday for his birthday. There was some naked women involved, a lot of money spent and man drama. I hate man drama. It is even worse than women drama.

What is man drama you might ask? Well you see it is when a guy goes ape shit for no reason and his friends are left to pick up the pieces. Or in my case, just say fuck it. I'm not the type of guy that will tolerate someone else being an idiot. I'm willing to let a friendship die if the idiot is going to go on about how I'm not a good enough friend to drop a ridiculous amount of money on him for his birthday. Get bent.

That was last Thursday. Last Friday I was so tired and hung over I was very late for work which didn't go over very well. I got in a little bit of trouble. I know, new job, I'm an idiot for being so self destructive.

That Saturday I went out with "J" the drama queen I've talked about here. It was a great time we went and got drunk at a dive bar, then went to an after party. There were no stupid questions about feelings or such things as that. No instead I hit on women that I knew I would never go out with. I got their numbers knowing I'd never call them. Not because they weren't attractive, because they were. I just know that when sober we would have nothing to talk about. These aren't the types of women that would fit into my world.

My world is a dangerous place filled with intrigue and espionage. Just kidding, instead my world is filled with two very distinct lifestyles. There is my family, I love them dearly, but to be honest they are what the rest of the world calls snobs. We eat out at nice restaurants. We go to galas, and art shows. We have season tickets to the symphony. I feel perfectly comfortable in a 3 piece suit. With this snobby attitude comes the manipulation and backhanded comments most people aren't used to.

Then there is the regular Joe lifestyle I have. I go out to bars and drink. I have fun with friends and go to the park. I play sports. I dress the same as every other guy. (that isn't a douche, that means no sequins for this guy. )

The problem is finding a girl that I can have in both these lives.The girls I met that Saturday I'm not sure would fit into either of them. These were women that work to party. I'm talking most of these women have a recreational cocaine habit. Which doesn't really play well with me as a regular Joe. Never mind their survival rate in the world my family lives in would be similar to a gold fish vs a swarm of piranha.

That was last weekend.

This weekend, was special. I had 2 different reunions. I had a family reunion where I got to see my dads side of the family. They are not pretentious in any way. They are laid back all the time. The difference in lifestyle was apparent by who brought what to drink. I showed up with some Stella Artrois. My sister shows up with a bottle of Spanish wine. The rest of the family was drinking discount beer. I stayed for dinner which was a basic BBQ, steaks and bean salad. I left when they started the Crib tournament.

I went to a party that was being hosted by some of my old high school classmates. These are people I haven't seen in eight years. It was a black and white party. I wore some of my nicer clothes to this party. I showed up and felt way over dressed. Apparently people thought black and white meant anything that was either black or white. I even had someone tell me that I looked like a high ranking law enforcement guy. I was confused by this because I was wearing dress pants, a waistcoat, a tie, and a white shirt. I suppose I could have looked like a US marshal from an old western movie.

I was reminded as to why I haven't seen these people in eight years. They still act like they are in high school. I'm not saying I didn't have fun, because I did. It was quite possibly for the wrong reasons though.

I know it is wrong to laugh at people unless they are trying to be funny but I couldn't help it. There were some women that I graduated with that are still living in the tiny ass little town I grew up in and I'm guessing that the selection in men is a little wanting. All of the ones that are still living there are dating guys that are 6 or 7 years their junior. These aren't ugly women, not at all, (These are some of the women I used to fantasize about) yet they are with these pubescent teenagers  young men. I don't understand it, but I found it funny. There were people there that are doing exactly what they were doing when we graduated. They hadn't moved up in life. I felt sorry for them telling them what I'd been up to since I left that shit hole of a town. However sorry I felt, I still laughed a little.

The background story here is I was never very popular in school. I was even voted least likely to succeed. Yea my school wasn't all about the anti-bullying. So when I can look at them now and see where they are it kinda makes me laugh. I don't care if this makes me a terrible person, it's funny.

So yea...

In case you were wondering, I wasn't killed. I haven't been out of the country doing espionage for the Canadian government. I haven't been in jail. I've just been busy.

Later Days.

Ps. I have a new chapter up in my novel. You can find it here.

PPS. My mother was in town this weekend for the family reunion and I was the grown up and had to tell her to quit acting like a child. (She doesn't like my dads side of the family) Other than that though it was a nice visit.


  1. Wow, what a post, and what a way to promote mass immigration into Alberta...

    Luckily I just landed a sweet job, or I'd think about brushing up on my mountie-lore and hockey talk.

    Welcome back to the blogging world!

  2. This is excluding you, but generally, to me, going to a high school reunion means you're either sadistic or you never grew up past that point. I mean, I just graduated so obviously I don't have these sentimental impulses to visit people in high school, but I doubt I would make the effort in the future. I'm glad you had fun in the family reunion, and that your mom didn't ruin the whole day.

    And this is probably why I don't go to parties. The first and last time I got smashed, I had a lot of fun, but I remember having a shitty mood before getting insanely drunk because the type of people that frequent these gatherings bothered the shit out of me. There were the women you mentioned, and these sloppy guys who don't know the difference between fun and retarded. BUT I've always been an elitist recluse (euphemism for loser?), so I guess I would never mix well.

  3. Glad you are not in jail.

    And Canada's immigration laws can't be any more loose than the US's.

  4. Hi Hero, nice to meet you :)


  5. @Lost: You're more then welcome to come and join us on top.

    @Leila: I was the same way straight out of highschool I never cared what anyone I went to school with was doing. Now, it is just morbid curiosity. Kinda like watching karma at work.

    @Trash: You keep saying I am going to end up in jail so that was a half ass'd attempt at a shout out to you. As for our immigration laws, I honestly don't know.

    @kelly: Hello welcome to my little blog. Always nice to have a fellow Canadian around.


My frail ego requires validation.