For Fuck's Sake Friday: I Quit.

I quit, that's right, I quit.

I'm finding that is taking up a ridiculous amount of my time. It is starting to hamper my relationships. Actually I don't know if starting is the right word. Since I've been doing it for so long the impact on my relationships is something I'm just starting to notice. So fuck it I'm going to try and give it up.

Hero are you quitting blogging? Are you never going to write again? I can hear the wailing of babes and the gnashing of teeth from hear. No sadly writing is not something I think I could ever give up completely.

No, it isn't blogging I'm quitting, it is porn. I watched this TEDtalk today about porn. Gary Wilson - The Great Porn Experiment. It opened my eyes about the possible negative effects porn may be having in my life.

In no way would I say that I am a porn addict. However there have been times that I'm browsing a dating site and get frustrated switch over to porn and end up not messaging any of the girls I thought might have been possible matches.

When it comes to dealing with online time spent I have to say most of my time on the net is spent firstly, reading articles or blogs, secondly, porn, thirdly, porn, then writing, then everything else. I'll have you know that Facebook isn't in my high ranking time spent category.

I'm hoping that out of this I'll actually have more drive to actually hit on women and will push me to actually form a lasting relationship or at least get me properly laid on a more regular basis. 

So yes, starting right now I'm quitting porn, unless of course I'm watching it with a nice young lady I'm fucking. 

I'll probably not let you know how the actual not watching porn aspect goes but hopefully there will be other results, which in turn, will result in more things to blog about.

Later days, 

NtH

What the fuck Wednesday: Dating profile headlines.

I don't care if it is a day early!

What the Fuck is up with women and their choice in dating profile headlines? You know the ones that are supposed to grab a man's attention, usually coming right after the woman's username. Which is another another thing what the fuck is up with their user names, but that is another topic.

Let's start with the one that got me going on this in the first place.

"R all the good ones gone?" The answer is simple, "No, the good ones still exist. You're just out of shape and boring." I've been looking at online dating profiles for a while now and when I see this particular headline it doesn't come across as a challenge for me to prove to you that I am a good one. No, instead it tells me that the "good ones" IE, guys like me, aren't interested in you. After looking at a whole bunch of profiles with this headline I've realized I should just skip over these types. Thanks for doing me a solid and letting me know what type of girl you are right off the bat.

There is set of headlines I'd like to tackle next. "Hello" "Hi" "aloha" or any other salutation. This tells me one thing. You're either too lazy or not creative enough to actually come up with a decent headline. Lazy when it comes to finding love tells me you aren't all that involved in actually dating. I can't stand lazy. It drives me bonkers. This goes for those that don't bother to rotate their images so that they are the right orientation too. If you're lazy when it comes to putting yourself out there in the public view, never mind on a site where you are actually trying to attract the opposite sex, what are you like in the bedroom. My measly little mind automatically just assumes you are going to Patrick the moment that things get good. Next!

Another set of headlines that send the wrong message. "Looking for a Good hearted man" or "Looking for a nice guy." This tells me that you are timid and can't handle a good joke. If I can't take little jabs at you and expect you to laugh this isn't going to work out well. I convey a whole lot of my humor with crass remarks and sarcasm. Besides let's be honest here, my moniker is "Not the Hero" and I've been called an asshole more times then I can possibly recall. I don't recall any woman ever saying "Wow he is just so nice, you know, he's got a good heart in him. I can't wait to fuck his brains out." Yea said by no woman, ever.

There is the headline of "Just trying this out." Oooh really? The message conveyed here is "I'm just creating a profile to see who messages me. I'm seeking validation through the amount of messages I get but I'm not actually interested in meeting anyone that messages me. After all, I did say "Just trying this out." What do you mean you're just trying this out. Of course you are, you have a fucking profile. To coincide with this headline in the "looking for" section they usually have the " isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment." But in the contact restrictions they say no to activity partner, or intimate encounter. The only people allowed to message them are the ones looking for dating or a relationship

Lastly the headline that irks me is any variation of, "Looking for a Handsome man". Well no shit. All this does is put first and foremost in my mind that you are shallow. What am I going to do when the first thing beside your tiny little thumbnail of a profile picture is "I'm so shallow that I want you to know that about me first"? I'm not even going to bother looking at your profile. You could be the most interesting person in the world, and I'll miss out on it, but the odds aren't in your favor.

Your headline should read as something that conveys something about you. For instance mine reads "If you're bored you're doing it wrong." I live an exciting life, most of the time... and so it automatically tells whoever is browsing profiles that I'm exciting.

It doesn't have to be clever, I've seen good ones out there too. "Adventure is awesome.", "Excitment is the spice of life." or if you're more lower key than that. "Conversation is the key". It really doesn't fucking matter as long as you're original and the headline conveys something of your personality.

 Although, I think if I'm going to continue looking for a life long love I may need to just get off the free sites.

Later Days,
NtH

PS. Found another headline that is a major no no. Leaving it blank. "........." tells me jack shit about the good things you've got and "-----" about the same. However these do tell me a fuck load about what type of person you are. A rebel without a cause, I'm too good to fill in a headline, I protest being forced into the mold so instead I'm going to leave it blank. Or you could be even more boring than those that put the fucking salutation in there. Ugh I need to get laid.

Well isn't this awkward?

I feel like the host of a party that dissapeared for three hours to go have nooky in the hall closet only to come out and find that the party has died down and now I'm drunk all by myself.

Now that I'm drunk and dancing in my underwear making sure to not step in the puke someone left over by my page counter I'm going to tell no one in particular about whats been going on. If I do it loud enough maybe people will come back and join my party.

When I last posted I was currently dating two different women. Well, I'm still kind of dating one of them, the CLR. How can you kind of date someone, Hero? You can't just play with a woman's emotions like that. You're such an asshole. Shut up! I get that enough from the female friends I have in real life.  


You are kinda dating someone when there is no future, no real bond, and it is just something that is fun and passes the time. Why bother dating then? I call it dating because "Fucking" isn't a word I can use to explain to my mother what is going on, especially in the middle of a Toys R Us. To be honest, we aren't just fucking, we get drunk too.

However over the last two weeks this has pretty much stopped too. I've been helping Vegas out a bit. He got hired, by the same company I work for, as a welder. Well the welders start at 6 am whereas I don't start till 8am. He doesn't drive so I've been giving him a ride to work everyday. I don't mind, it's given me a chance to actually get caught up on work. Which means I actually have time to blog. The downside of this is I now wake up at 5 am, which puts me to bed roughly around 9-10 pm. Between rock climbing, playing in my ultimate Frisbee league and eating dinner I don't have a whole lot of time for much else.

Some of you may be wondering what happened with the other girl, the Artist. That one just fizzled. I would liken it to a bottle of 7-up. After you open it and it's still ice cold you have that first sip and the carbonation and fresh taste feels so good, but after about an hour the pop is flat and all you taste is syrup that is way too sweet and makes you feel like you'll catch diabetes.

I think that is part of the problem with both of these women. They are younger than me, not just in age, but in spirit. They like to go out for drinks 3-4 nights a week and get smammered drunk every chance they get. Don't get me wrong I enjoy a good bender every once in a while as I've demonstrated before, but I have a career and because of that certain other things take priority. Namely, sleep.

This arrangement with Vegas is only temporary. Soon he'll have his own car and I can go back to working at 8 am. When this happens I think I may actually pay for a dating site membership and then we'll see where that takes us. In the mean time I have been working on a post about dating that I'll try and get up in the next couple of days.

Later Days,
NtH

My weekend Monday: Climbing.

This last weekend was filled with fun. Loads of it.

First off, Friday night Token and I went out and met up with the artist to dance the night away. Generally a good time, but the artist got too drunk and passed out on her couch and I ended up carrying her to her bed and passing out next to her.

Waking up Saturday morning sucked. I didn't sleep well and that was because I slept on a mac computer. I also have this thing where I'm always hot. Summer time is not exaclty a pleasant experience for me unless there is a cold beverage in my hand or I have a pool of water I can jump into. Friday evening I also made the mistake of drinking a decent large amount of bourbon. It was good, don't judge me. However, because of this I generated even more heat. It was not a good sleep.

Saturday I had made plans to do a picnic in the park with CLR. It was nice we had a decent time. I just don't know if there is a whole lot of chemistry there. I find myself hanging out with her when there is nothing else to do. Which makes me think that this isn't exactly headed for the happily ever after column. On top of the lack of chemistry she is younger and hasn't really figured out her life yet. Meh we'll see where it goes so far it is still a whole lot of fun.

I ended up spending Saturday night at the artist's place though. I think I could actually see myself with her if it wasn't for some fundamental issues. We have nothing in common except for partying, which I'm not planning on doing a whole lot of this summer. I'm going to be active and out of the city doing what I love to do. Hike and rock climb.

That is what I did Sunday it was awesome. I burnt my face though, you might be able to see it in the pictures.

Vegas learning to lead climb.

Vegas up close.

Me climbing up the cliff.

Vegas up top.

My view from the top.

Me anchored to the cliff face ready to rappel.

Me setting up an anchor.

I had a lot of fun climbing, the sad thing was none of the women I'm currently dating wanted to even come with me. Le sigh. I'll ride it out till they go their natural course, who knows maybe I'll be surprised.

Later Days,
NtH