Tuesday, June 5, 2012

What the fuck Wednesday: Dating profile headlines.

I don't care if it is a day early!

What the Fuck is up with women and their choice in dating profile headlines? You know the ones that are supposed to grab a man's attention, usually coming right after the woman's username. Which is another another thing what the fuck is up with their user names, but that is another topic.

Let's start with the one that got me going on this in the first place.

"R all the good ones gone?" The answer is simple, "No, the good ones still exist. You're just out of shape and boring." I've been looking at online dating profiles for a while now and when I see this particular headline it doesn't come across as a challenge for me to prove to you that I am a good one. No, instead it tells me that the "good ones" IE, guys like me, aren't interested in you. After looking at a whole bunch of profiles with this headline I've realized I should just skip over these types. Thanks for doing me a solid and letting me know what type of girl you are right off the bat.

There is set of headlines I'd like to tackle next. "Hello" "Hi" "aloha" or any other salutation. This tells me one thing. You're either too lazy or not creative enough to actually come up with a decent headline. Lazy when it comes to finding love tells me you aren't all that involved in actually dating. I can't stand lazy. It drives me bonkers. This goes for those that don't bother to rotate their images so that they are the right orientation too. If you're lazy when it comes to putting yourself out there in the public view, never mind on a site where you are actually trying to attract the opposite sex, what are you like in the bedroom. My measly little mind automatically just assumes you are going to Patrick the moment that things get good. Next!

Another set of headlines that send the wrong message. "Looking for a Good hearted man" or "Looking for a nice guy." This tells me that you are timid and can't handle a good joke. If I can't take little jabs at you and expect you to laugh this isn't going to work out well. I convey a whole lot of my humor with crass remarks and sarcasm. Besides let's be honest here, my moniker is "Not the Hero" and I've been called an asshole more times then I can possibly recall. I don't recall any woman ever saying "Wow he is just so nice, you know, he's got a good heart in him. I can't wait to fuck his brains out." Yea said by no woman, ever.

There is the headline of "Just trying this out." Oooh really? The message conveyed here is "I'm just creating a profile to see who messages me. I'm seeking validation through the amount of messages I get but I'm not actually interested in meeting anyone that messages me. After all, I did say "Just trying this out." What do you mean you're just trying this out. Of course you are, you have a fucking profile. To coincide with this headline in the "looking for" section they usually have the " isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment." But in the contact restrictions they say no to activity partner, or intimate encounter. The only people allowed to message them are the ones looking for dating or a relationship

Lastly the headline that irks me is any variation of, "Looking for a Handsome man". Well no shit. All this does is put first and foremost in my mind that you are shallow. What am I going to do when the first thing beside your tiny little thumbnail of a profile picture is "I'm so shallow that I want you to know that about me first"? I'm not even going to bother looking at your profile. You could be the most interesting person in the world, and I'll miss out on it, but the odds aren't in your favor.

Your headline should read as something that conveys something about you. For instance mine reads "If you're bored you're doing it wrong." I live an exciting life, most of the time... and so it automatically tells whoever is browsing profiles that I'm exciting.

It doesn't have to be clever, I've seen good ones out there too. "Adventure is awesome.", "Excitment is the spice of life." or if you're more lower key than that. "Conversation is the key". It really doesn't fucking matter as long as you're original and the headline conveys something of your personality.

 Although, I think if I'm going to continue looking for a life long love I may need to just get off the free sites.

Later Days,

PS. Found another headline that is a major no no. Leaving it blank. "........." tells me jack shit about the good things you've got and "-----" about the same. However these do tell me a fuck load about what type of person you are. A rebel without a cause, I'm too good to fill in a headline, I protest being forced into the mold so instead I'm going to leave it blank. Or you could be even more boring than those that put the fucking salutation in there. Ugh I need to get laid.


  1. Wow. I can't even remember what I had in my profiles when I used online dating but as I'm thinking about using one again...maybe...I'll take these tips to heart. ;) I despise boring profiles as well as the first email saying only "hi". Um...no, assface, say SOMETHING!

  2. I see the same things on the guys profiles that hit me up. No thanks, if I'm bored already, this is never going to work!

  3. I'm with random girl on that one. When I was on a dating site the guys were pretty bad too. Even worse than their titles; some of the shit that they came up to message me was beyond ridiculous.

  4. Love this post. When I was doing the POF thing some of the headlines I saw were total turn offs! The "just trying this out" thing was super irritating (yep, guys use that one too).

    Good luck with it all!



My frail ego requires validation.