Not the Hero @Not_The_Hero Close
I just lied to the russian to get out of hanging out with her. #itsover #tellherlater.
5:36 PM - 9 Feb 12 via Twitter for Android · Details
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So the story goes, when I dropped her off at home last time I said I'd probably see her on Sunday, the one in 2 days. She wanted to see me sooner and asked if we could hang out on Thursday (yesterday) instead. I said maybe. Which for some reason translates in a woman's head to yes, but that is a separate issue.
Well last night rolled around and she asked if we were still hanging out. I wasn't aware I had committed to hanging out, but apparently I had.
I really wasn't in the mood to be charming and funny. I just wanted to relax, but I couldn't just say "No, we aren't hanging out today. I've got nothing else planned, but I don't want to hang out with you." I look back now and realize I could have just said "No, I can't do it tonight, sorry." and left it at that. Instead I lied and said I had to stay late at work.
Ugh so much Fail.
Now I hate lying. I really do. So why did I do it? To be honest I think it's because I felt like a needed a viable excuse to give her. Which means I feel... you know what, I fucking hate feelings... but hate is a feeling... fuck! I felt something, then I made up an excuse, end of story.
I realize that this isn't good. It means that I would rather do nothing then see her on top of the need to lie to her about doing said nothing. Why? I don't know, it was a feeling. Women don't have to justify their feelings so I'm not going to justify mine.
To quote my friend, "You just aren't feeling that spark." Oh yes, the elusive spark.
The nail in the coffin I suppose happened when I started planning my trip next weekend and realized I was more excited to see an ex girlfriend than I was to see the Russian.
Now that I realize that I'm just not all that excited by the Russian I have to end it I suppose. What exactly is the protocol for a month long dating spree break-up when there aren't any glaring issues?
I've never been good at ending things, for the longest time I was the one getting told I wasn't good enough. It sucks, and I don't want to make anyone feel like they aren't good enough. I have a tendency to be an asshole though and have been known to make people cry.
Is it alright to end it via text? I don't want to waste the gas money to drive to her place to tell her she isn't good enough. I know, I'm a terrible person.
Ps. I had some cool images to go with this post but because blogger is a piece of shit and formatting didn't work you don't get them.