Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentines Day & a New Level of Disappointment.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I hope it finds you happy and enjoying a squish mitten. Whether it's your squish mitten or someone's you love. Whether that is someone you'll love for now or forever. I wish you happy squishing.

No matter what you originally thought when you saw the title I actually love Valentine's Day. I don't have a very good track record with them though.

Last year was the end of The Russian Saga. Where I actually broke up with her on Valentine's Day. The one before that I was doing snow removal and I spent it chilling outside with a shovel. Real romance right there.

This year I've managed to drip down to a new level of disappointment though. Even if I were to miraculously find love sometime in the next 12 hours it wouldn't do me any good. I wouldn't be enjoying a squish mitten no matter what.

I'm starting to think I'm cursed.

I have contracted Mononucleosis. The kissing disease. Was it worth it? No. I got it from sharing a water bottle with my sister. Fuck.

So happy Valentine's Day Everyone. I'm going back to sleep. I want to go emotionally eat an entire tub of ice cream but... I'm lactose intolerant and ... you know.... I have no appetite because I have FUCKING mono.

Later Days,
Hero.

2 comments:

  1. So, if I'm reading between the lines correctly, you're saying that your sister is a whore, or at least a dirty dirty slut?

    If so, can I have her number? Just in case...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't know what a squish mitten is, but it sounds like an euphemism.


    I hope you feel better in like a month or three. MONO IS THE WORST

    ReplyDelete

My frail ego requires validation.